Tuesday, February 21, 2012

Slutty Stripper School



Flirty Girl Fitness Uses Sleazy Stripper Dance Moves to Get You Fit

Recall the last time you were at a strip joint—oh, excuse me, “gentlemen’s club.” The music starts blasting and the lovely ladies take the stage, seductively moving their bodies in perfect rhythm to the beat. They wrap their bodies around a pole and slither up and down. As the hot sexy woman you’ve been eyeing gets ready to take her top off and reveal the flesh of her perfect mammaries, you are thinking only one thought: “I bet she is burning a lot of calories with that dance routine!”

If you have ever thought that, then you are not a male (at least not a straight one) and you are the perfect customer for the Flirty Girl Fitness™ exercise system.

The Flirty Girl Fitness infomercial convinces fat-ass housewives watching TV in the middle of the afternoon that if they want a sexy bod they’ll have to gyrate like the exotic dancers straddling their hubby at some sleazy nudie bar.

The Flirty Girl Fit infomercial offers a “chair dance” video as a free bonus, but you need to supply the chair yourself, as well as the fat sweaty guy sitting in it and shoving dollar bills down your panties.

Woman takes the pole in the Flirty Girl Fitness infomercialThose who don’t want to workout by doing a lap dance can instead do a pole dance by ordering their very own stripper pole from the infomercial! Won’t grandma be happy to see that in your home when she comes over for Thanksgiving dinner.

The ad assures us that the dance moves in Flirty Girl Fitness are much more fun than some boring workout routine. What fun you’ll have when you imagine you’re a stripper at the Bada Bing Club getting your genitals rudely manhandled by Tony Soprano!

No one can deny that a stripper’s dancing burns a lot of calories. Of course, a hooker gets a great lower body workout from standing around on street corners and walking up and down the block trolling for tricks. Once you’ve mastered Flirty Girl Fitness you can move on to their advanced program: Slutty Ho Fitness™.