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Friday, December 28, 2012
Monday, December 24, 2012
Have a very naughty Christmas
$60-Million Man$30-Million Man Jeff Dunham does divorce and marries a fitness model, Walter kills himself by Controlled Chaos
Last night I spent time with 20-year old 5-foot 3-inch 110-pound brunette nude model/schoolgirl dressed and undressed as Santa's little helper, AND a 20-year-old 5-foot 2-inch 105-pound blonde hottie ex-stripper nude model UTR escort porn star -- Miss Lovely. First nude shoot and fuck since The Divorce (roll emphatic music).
Not too shabby for a 50-year-youngster.
But first I dine out with the Hooters Girls TM.
48 Boobies
Two dozen hotties in sexy Xmas lingerie bending over forwards to serve you...how's that to get in the mood?
Don't worry, most don't wear that much.
Did you know you can do your Xmas shopping at Hooters TM?
Hotel 1: Nude model
Note to All: Christmas shopping is a lot more fun when shopping for lingerie, bras, panties and stillettos for hot nude models.
My date with a nude model is for 8 pm. Facebook and text messaging are great inventions, other than tracking by Big Sis. I call my sexual service provider for an 11 pm appointment. Tesla is The Man!
My nude model texts that she's running late, as usual. No problem. I'm glad she's showing up at all, since she almost never showed for class. Somehow she motivated the professor to pass her anyway.
I call my fuck buddie and request a midnight date. Good to go.
My model shows up to the notel and we go over the game plan -- modeling some sexy Christmas lingere, then retiring to the bed for some "artistic nude" boudoir shots. (smirk)
She promptly strips off all her clothes. I like that in a woman. We choose her first outfit and she begins modeling beside the Xmas tree. I tweak the strobes and we get to work. The clothes fall off, shoot, change outfits, shoot, repeat. Fun with candy canes -- she says it's too small (!).
Found a new use for gaffer tape -- pasties! It's a tough job being a nude photographer, but by God somebody's gotta do it.
Got some hot implied art nudes.
We talk about life during school break, visiting family in loonybins, alcoholic SOs and fucking. Lots in common. Having fun romping on the bed, talking and shooting. Got some amazing shots. We really nailed it. She didn't want to leave after our 2 hours were up. I guess drunk BFs aren't so great after all?
But as much as I was enjoing myself, I had to kick a naked model out of my bed and into the cold. I tell her my fuck buddy is waiting for me. She hopes I don't get robbed, or diseased. I thank her for her concern. May I call her for bail money? We hug. I give her an Xmas gift of chocolates and green. Another date next month. Goodbye.
Lots of glitter for maidservice to clean up.
On to the fuck buddy. That's the secret to being a nude photog -- its mandatory to get laid afterwards ASAP.
Hotel 2: A midnight bootycall
I'm late. My fuckbuddy texts BYO safety. Fuck.
The standard Trojan was recommended by a midnight shopper while standing in line at the Booty Call 24/7 store. No extra large available.
I drive to the sleazy side of town, anticipating my next Christmas present.
We meet and greet for the first time. She immediately tells me to let her see my manhood, to prove I'm not a pussy (vice). I strip and show her my wang, which she immediately grabs hold of. I like that in a woman.
I apologize for my delay at the hands of a nubile nude model, thank her for her understanding, hand her an Xmas gift of chocolates and make a donation to her empty stocking fund.
She strips. Amazing body!
I ask and receive a back massage, to relieve the stress from my strenuous modeling shoot.
Show time. I ask her to leave her glasses on, for that "slutty schoolgirl look."
She begins with an amazing BBBJ. Very smooth mouth results in very hard dick. She says it's imposssible to deep throat me, "because she can only do that with smaller dicks." Ha.
Safety first. She applies the Trojan, but informs me that the condom is too small. By golly she's right. I render assistance, but its a dangerously tight fit. I'll take one for the team and man up. No pain no gain.
She explained that some of her patrons are "the width of a Big Gulp cup," some kind of "sudden medical issue." Note to self -- increase copper intake.
We did get it on and had an awesome fuck.
Cowgirl while tickling her toes.
Sitting cowgirl sucking her fine young titties.
Mish tha dish.
Massaging her fine back, legs and ass while fucking her doggie style to orgasms.
Nice tramp stamp -- I'll forever have naughty thoughts of Tinker Bell. Felt good to feel 30 years younger!
XOXO. She shows off her perfect pedi as I massage her feet, then her immaculate mani as I massage her soft hands. She begs me to bring lube and massage oil to our next play date. Her professional advice is to upgrade to Magnum size. Thank ye Amazon!
She invites me to cum play with her and her horny girl friends.
Lesbian love or all for me, either way, my choice.
I look forward to my next date with my slutty little schoolgirl, and her horny girlfriends.
Merry Christmas to all, and to all a good fuck.
PS: The next week my nude model got morning sickness and a proposal (accepted).
Best Condoms For Thick Penises
By: Sarah Eisenberg
Finding the best condoms for thick penises is no doubt a challenging affair.
Putting a standard size condom on a thick penis can be both uncomfortable and dangerous. There is a greater chance the condom will rip or break, and protection against pregnancy and sexually transmitted diseases will be significantly compromised. The average condom is approximately 1.75 inches to 2 inches wide, so you'll want to look for something slightly roomier. A thick penis is generally said to have a girth (or circumference) of 5 inches or more, so if you fit the bill, you can use this list to help you find some of the best condoms for thick penises.
Trojan Magnum XL Condoms Specifically tailored for thick penises, these condoms are 30% wider than the average condom and have the widest head measurement of any latex condom. They measure 2.7 inches at the head, 2.12 inches at the shaft, and 2 inches at the base. They are over 8 inches in length, so they may not work for men whose penises are not especially long.
Trojan Magnum Large Size Condoms These latex condoms are 2.5 inches at the head, 2.25 inches at the shaft, and 2 inches at the base. They are slightly narrower than the Trojan Magnum XL condoms, but be warned- they are also over 8 inches long.
Durex PleasureMAX Condoms These condoms measure about 2.4 inches at the head, and 2 inches at the base and shaft. They are latex and built for maximum comfort.
Trojan NaturaLamb Condoms Looking for something other than latex? These extra- wide condoms are made from natural lambskin membrane and are 2.8 inches wide up and down. Be aware that these condoms will only prevent pregnancy and DO NOT protect against HIV and other sexually transmitted diseases.
Durex XXL The Durex XXL condom is designed to fit thick penises. They are about 2.13 inches wide and are made of latex.
Crown Color Condoms If you want to add some pizzaz to your protection, give these condoms a whirl. They are 2.16 inches wide and come in red, blue, green, and yellow. They are made of latex and are also extra thin for increased sensation.
Trustex Extra Large Condoms At 2.25 inches up and down, these latex condoms are extra wide and a great fit for thick penises.
Durex Love Condoms Not only are these condoms 2.25 inches at the head and 2.125 inches at the shaft and base, they are also extra lubricated and extra thin. Kimono MicroThin Large Condoms These latex condoms measure 2.34 inches wide at the head and 2.05 inches at the shaft and base. They are borderline sheer, being about 25-40% thinner than the average condom.
Trojan Magnum Twister These new latex condoms are part of Trojan's line of large condoms and are designed for thick penises that may want a little twist! They have a special shape and texture which helps increase both partners' pleasures. There is extra room at the 2.5 inch head, and they are tapered at the base for maximum comfort and fit.
While the unifying factor between all of the best condoms for thick penises is their additional width and/or stretch, remember to take other key factors into consideration when shopping around. For optimal fit and safety, make sure the condom is not too long or short for your penis. Also remember to check its effectiveness against pregnancy and STDs, some are less reliable than others.
Get The Most In Pleasure And Protection With This Condom Size Chart
The Condom Size Chart At The Bottom Of This Page Shows You The Best Fit For Maximum Pleasure
Before we get to the chart, let me explain how to use it. If you are buying condoms without regard to the size of your penis, you are risking pregnancy, disease, and diminshed pleasure. The most pleasurable condoms are condoms that fit snugly, but not too tight. If they are too tight, they will break. If they are too loose, they will slide off.
The Condom Conspiracy
What the condom marketers don't want you to know is that the length of a condom does not matter. Condoms are very strong when you stretch them length-wise. Their weakness is when you stretch their width. That is how condoms should be chosen - by width.
An Engineering Wonder
For the maximum pleasure, you'll also want to choose a thin condom. A few select condom manufacturers have figured out how to engineer ultra thin condoms that are stronger than most of the condoms out there according to Consumer Reports. It's pretty simple - thinner, stronger condoms mean more pleasure at the same time you are getting better protection from pregnancy and disease. In the case of the Crown Skinless Skins, they are about 50% thinner than the average condom. That's why they are consistently ranked #1.
The first chart below shows the 5 best condoms in the world by size, and the next chart shows what size category the rest of the condoms fit in.
Which Size Is Best For You?
To see which one might fit you best, check how big around your penis is at the largest point. If you are around 5 inches, go with the "regular" condoms that are 2 inches wide (the width is measured on flat condoms - it is not the circumference).
If you are less than 5 inches around, go with "snug" condoms that are about 1.75 inches wide.
If you are bigger than 5 inches around, check out the large or "magnum" sized condoms that are more than 2 inches wide.
If you need more headroom, take a look at the condoms that have extra headroom at the bottom of the chart below.
Enter coupon code UNDERCOVER in the instructions section of the order form to save $5 on your order of $30 or more.
click link to see chart
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Sunday, December 23, 2012
Tuesday, November 20, 2012
Saturday, November 3, 2012
Friday, October 26, 2012
Happy Halloween
Son of Son of Sam?
NY cop arrested for plotting to kidnap, eat women
By Sebastian Smith
AFP, Yahoo News UK & Ireland
Fri, Oct 26, 2012
A New York City police officer allegedly plotted to kidnap up to 100 women, roast them in his oven or over a fire, and eat them, federal authorities said.
According to a criminal complaint, Gilberto Valle, an active New York Police Department officer, discussed "kidnapping, cooking and eating body parts of women" with an with an unnamed witness.
The duo allegedly discussed using chloroform to knock their prey out, then bring them back to 28-year-old Valle's kitchen, where the officer said he had a big enough oven "if I folded their legs."
Slow cooking her on a spit over an open fire or roasting her alive in a cage were also considered.
Valle, who was reportedly stationed in Harlem, was arrested on Wednesday at his home in the New York borough of Queens.
The co-conspirator, who has not been identified, was not charged and there was no further detail about the individual or others involved.
The US attorney's office for Manhattan said referred to multiple co-conspirators.
No women were harmed, but FBI acting assistant director Mary Galligan said the stomach-churning allegations were beyond comment.
"The allegations in the complaint really need no description from us. They speak for themselves," she said. "It would be an understatement merely to say Valle's own words and actions were shocking."
New York police chief Ray Kelly called the case "bizarre."
The FBI learned about Valle's plan in September when it found that he'd spent months discussing details on emails and instant messages from his home computer, according to the complaint.
A search of his computer allegedly revealed files kept on at least 100 women, each with a name and photograph and often personal details such as address and descriptions.
Valle is said to have illegally used law enforcement databases to draw up a target list of women.
Then he concocted a "plan to abduct and cook an identified woman, researching methods of disabling and drugging women, and agreeing with at least one other individual to kidnap a woman in exchange for a sum of money."
During one online conversation that took place in July between Valle and the unidentified co-conspirator, the complaint says, Valle was asked: "How big is your oven?"
Valle allegedly answered: "Big enough to fit one of these girls if I folded their legs."
Further discussing the culinary aspects of the plot, the co-conspirator allegedly asked Valle what his "favorite cut of meat" was and advised against using a spit over a fire.
"Spitting kills the girl. Have to put her into a kind of cage," the co-conspirator wrote.
"I was thinking of tying her body onto some kind of apparatus," Valle allegedly responds. "Cook her over a low heat, keep her alive as long as possible."
Although no murders took place, Valle allegedly went as far as meeting one of his intended victims. The co-conspirator asked him "How was your meal?" to which Valle is alleged to have replied: "I am meeting her."
The ghoulish meeting took place, the FBI says, in a restaurant.
According to the complaint, Valle was preparing to do the kidnapping, for which the co-conspirator promised to pay him $5,000 a victim.
"This is very risky and will ruin my life if I'm caught," he allegedly wrote. "I really need the money and I can't take under $5,000."
Chief Manhattan federal prosecutor Preet Bharara said: "Gilberto Valle's alleged plans to kidnap women so that they could be raped, tortured, killed, cooked, and cannibalized shock the conscience.
"This case is all the more disturbing when you consider Valle's position as a New York City police officer and his sworn duty to serve and protect."
Valle faces up to life in prison if convicted on a kidnapping conspiracy charge and five years if found guilty of illegally accessing an official computer.
Despite the horror movie quality to the alleged plot, online news watchers were quick to start cracking jokes.
On The Daily Beast, one reader referred to the NYPD's mission to protect and serve, then quipped that Valle was "taking the second part seriously."
US Supreme court justices and presidents meet to approve Roe v Wade and preform cannibal snuff kiddie porn
www.johnnygosch.com
Monday, September 3, 2012
Friday, July 13, 2012
Let's Play Ejaculation by Taser!
Tasers kill 100s of people every year, so let's shove one up our asses!
Today in D.C.’s Polyamorous Gay Murder: Let’s Learn about Electro-Ejaculation
Part two of the Washington Post's bizarre story on the murder of Robert Wone is out, and it includes the police's disturbing theory of how and why they think Wone's friends—a "polyamorous" gay threesome—stabbed him to death. It involves something called "electro-ejacualation."
Wone, a 32-year-old lawyer, was murdered in a million-dollar townhouse in a tony D.C. neighborhood owned by his friends Joseph Price and Victor Zaborsky, both successful and politically active professionals, in August 2006. Zaborsky and Price were married, and they lived with Price's lover, Dylan Ward, with whom he was in a "dominant-submissive sexual relationship." Price, Zaborsky, and Ward say an intruder entered the house while Wone was sleeping over in a guest bedroom and killed him. The police think the trio "restrained, incapacitated, sexually assaulted and murdered him."
Among the mysteries of Wone's death—aside from the lack of blood, the paramedics' suspicion that his body had been "showered, redressed, and placed in the bed" they found him in when they arrived, and the needle marks indicating that he had been injected with something before he died—is the fact that semen was found in and around the purportedly straight, married man's anus. His own semen.
Law enforcement has a theory about that.
As for the semen on and in Wone's body being his own, [the prosecutor] explained at a court hearing how investigators think the alleged assault occurred. "The government has now, courtesy of experts, learned a lot more about electro-ejaculation than frankly this counsel ever knew," he said. "And there was, indeed, an electrocution unit in Mr. Ward's bedroom that can produce electric ejaculation of a person who is under anesthetic or otherwise incapacitated."
Wikipedia helpfully explains:
Electroejaculation is usually carried out under a general anesthetic. An electric probe is inserted into the rectum adjacent to the prostate. The probe delivers a slight electric current that stimulates nearby nerves, resulting in contraction of the pelvic muscles and ejaculation. This procedure is used frequently with large mammals, particularly bulls and some domestic animals, as well as humans who have certain types of paralysis or erectile dysfunction.
The police's suspicions about the three men developed immediately. Here's a snippet from Price's interrogation on the night of the murder:
In an interrogation room, for example, Detective Daniel Wagner, then a 23-year veteran of the force, goaded Price, saying it was obvious to him that the men had planned to make Wone a part of their family that night.
"I got three homosexuals in the house and I got one straight guy," Wagner said to Price. "What's he doing over there? What's he doing over there?"
Then he answered his own question. "I think we were all drinking wine," the detective said. And he imagined the men's thoughts toward their visitor: "You are coming to Jesus tonight; that's what is going on tonight."
It's just like CSI. The trio still have not been indicted for murder, but prosecutors have charged them with obstruction of justice.
Other evidence reportedly buttressing the police's theory of the murder is the fact that forensic experts say Wone's stab wounds don't match the knife found near his body, but they do match the one knife that happened to be missing from a cutlery set belonging to Ward, a culinary school graduate. In Zaborsky, Price, and Ward's defense, the Post says the "come to jesus" theory requires them to have drugged, raped, electro-ejaculated and murdered Wone inside 79 minutes—the apparent amount of time that had elapsed between Wone's arrival at their house and the time Zaborsky called 911.
A law enforcement source described the case to the Post as "a frustrating head-scratcher." Zaborsky, Price, and Ward have moved to Florida the Washington suburbs, where they still live together as a family. Zaborsky and Price have also purchased an investment property in Florida, which might come in handy if they lose Wone's widow's wrongful death lawsuit against them—Florida's homestead laws would prevent her from seizing it if they make it their primary residence.
Rectal Electroejaculation
Weill Cornell Medical College
Department of Urology
Men with neurologic impairments in their sympathetic outflow, as in traumatic spinal cord injury (SCI), demyelinating neuropathies (multiple sclerosis), diabetes, and following retroperitoneal lymph node dissection (often for testis tumor), frequently have abnormalities or absence of seminal emission. Electroejaculation (EEJ) has been proven to be a safe and effective means to obtain motile sperm suitable for assisted reproductive techniques (intrauterine insemination or in vitro fertilization).
Electroejaculation (EEJ) is normally performed under general anesthesia, though for men with a complete spinal cord injury (SCI), anesthesia may not be necessary. To prevent autonomic dysreflexia, men with SCI, particularly above the level of T-5, are premeditated with 20mg of nifedipine, sublingually, 15 minutes prior to EEJ. The procedure begins by first catheterizing the patient in supine position and emptying the bladder completely. The use of Betadine and Surgilube is to be avoided because of their spermicidal effect. Instead, the urethra is lubricated with glycerin or, preferably, by instillation of 2 cc of 6% simulated human tubal fluid and plasmanate. The pH of the urine should be assessed to ensure its alkalinity (pH>6.5). Oral sodium bicarbonate may be used if necessary. Because retrograde ejaculation (backwards ejaculation into the bladder) occurs frequently in this procedure, an additional 10 cc of the simulated human tubal fluid and plasmanate is instilled into the bladder to help preserve any sperm inside the bladder. The catheter is then removed. Although it is possible to perform the procedure in lithotomy position, lateral decubitus position is preferred, as it allows easier access to both the penis and rectum.
The patient is put on his side with his thighs and knees slightly flexed. All pressure points are appropriately padded. A blood pressure cuff is applied to the patient's left arm for continuous blood pressure monitoring every 2 minutes. Digital rectal examination and anoscopy should be performed before and after the procedure to inspect the rectal ampulla and mucosa for any injury. In patients with SCI, it is not uncommon to find rectal mucosal abrasion, especially if they are being managed with a chronic digital bowel program. If anoscopic inspection is not performed prior to the EEJ, one could mistakenly attribute the rectal abrasion to be caused by the procedure. After proper inspection, a well-lubricated large rectal probe with horizontal electrode plates is introduced gently into the rectal ampulla, and is stabilized against the anterior rectal wall at the level of the seminal vesicles and prostate. Electrostimulation via the rectal probe may then begin.
The rectal probe is connected to an adjustable output power source and is capable of simultaneously recording the temperature of the probe through a thermistor. The amount of current and voltage needed depends on the patient's body habitus and the extent of his neurologic injury. In patients with incomplete SCI, the procedure may be limited by their tolerance to pain, as sensation may be present.
Rhythmic delivery of current is performed by manually turning the dial to increase the voltage delivery progressively for a few seconds. After a few initial stimulation, the voltage is reduced to zero. Voltage is then gradually increased until erection/ejaculation has occurred. The voltage at which the first erection/ejaculation occurs is noted and is then increased to a level 30% to 50% higher, depending on patient's tolerance and the rectal temperature which is constantly monitored and displayed. Ejaculation may be entirely retrograde. In these cases, sweating, piloerection, " goose bumps" on the things and buttocks, and erection may be the only signs that the patient is adequately stimulated and that ejaculation has occurred. The number of stimulation, the current, and the voltage necessary to produce a maximum erection are noted, as this information will be useful for subsequent procedure if needed. The ejaculate is collected directly into a cup containing 3 cc of human tubal fluid (HTF) buffer.
The probe temperatures as well as the number of stimulation required to achieve full erection and ejaculation are recorded. The ejaculate is then collected in a sterile wide-mouth plastic container. The numbers of stimulation and maximum voltage required may vary and ejaculation may be retrograde. If the probe temperature rises rapidly to above 40oC, we either change the rectal probe or suspend the stimulation until the temperature falls below 38oC.
Following electroejaculation, anoscopy is performed again prior to returning the patient in the supine position. The bladder is catheterized to collect the post-ejaculate urine, which is sent along with the ejaculate to the IVF laboratory for processing.
Currently, employing this technique, semen can be obtained in more than 90% of neurologically impaired men. More than 40% of the couples achieve pregnancy with IUI or IVF. Pregnancy rates are slightly better among couples in which the male partner had SCI (43%) or idiopathic anejaculation (33%) then those who had undergone retroperitoneal lymph node dissection (20%) or had diabetes (0%).
Sunday, June 10, 2012
Friday, June 1, 2012
Sunday, March 4, 2012
Best Little Whorehouse
Last madam of infamous Chicken Ranch has died
Edna Milton Chadwell, the last madam of the Chicken Ranch, an infamous La Grange brothel which inspired a ZZ Top song, a Broadway hit and a movie starring Burt Reynolds and Dolly Parton, has died in Phoenix. She was 84.
Robert Kleffman, one of Chadwell's nephews, said his aunt died on Feb. 25 of complications from injuries she received in a car wreck last October.
The Chicken Ranch, which received national infamy after the staging of "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas" on Broadway, reportedly was the oldest continuously operating brothel in the nation when it closed in August 1973, following an expose by KTRK consumer reporter Marvin Zindler.
Madam adept at PR
Miss Edna, as she was known, joined the staff of the brothel in 1952 when she was 23, but with the owner, Miss Jessie Williams, in declining health, soon found herself assuming more of the day to day managerial responsibilities of running the business, said Jayme Blaschke, who is writing a book on the history of the Chicken Ranch.
In 1961, after Miss Jessie's death, Chadwell bought the establishment for $30,000 from her heirs and ran it for the next 12 years with a firm hand, brooking no nonsense.
Chadwell proved as adept at public relations as she was at running a brothel. She established a good working and personal relationship with T.J. Flournoy, the Fayette County sheriff who put in a direct line to the Chicken Ranch so he could be easily apprised of any criminal activity, Blaschke said.
According to the Handbook of Texas, Chadwell also forbade any contact, other than that of a professional nature, with the citizens of La Grange, insisted on weekly visits by the girls to a doctor, shopped with local merchants on a rotating basis, and gave generously to local charities.
The business flourished. Generations of students at nearby Texas A&M University discovered that a visit to the Chicken Ranch was an established rite of passage for freshmen. Legend has it that a nearby military base ferried clients in by helicopter.
But in 1973, acting on a tip, Zindler aired an exposé that led to the brothel's demise.
"Action 13 received an anonymous complaint about two alleged houses of prostitution," was how Zindler opened his nightly segment in late July that year. "The complainant said the houses were operating openly in our neighboring towns of Sealy and La Grange. It's illegal to operate a house of prostitution in Texas. And past history shows they cannot function without someone in authority protecting them."
By Aug. 1, Zindler's pressure resulted in Gov. Dolph Briscoe ordering law enforcement to close the two "bawdy houses," as Zindler called them. The next day, Flournoy reluctantly complied.
8th of 11 kids
Chadwell was born in Caddo County, Okla., in 1928, the eighth of 11 children. The Dust Bowl and the Great Depression forced the family to move frequently between Oklahoma, Texas and Arizona.
Edna stopped going to school in the third or fourth grade, said her nephew, Robert Kleffman. At 16 she was forced into an unwanted marriage and had a son, who died soon after birth.
Penniless, she turned to prostitution as a means of support, said Blaschke.
After the Chicken Ranch closed, Chadwell moved to Gladewater and got married. After her husband's death, she married Clayton Chadwell and moved to Phoenix, where she lived in relative obscurity until she died.
In the late 1970s Chadwell sold the rights to her story to Texas writer Larry L. King, who wrote a piece for Playboy magazine and which was adapted by Peter Masterson for the stage as "The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas," in which Miss Edna played a small, non-speaking role as the former madam.
"It was strange," Masterson said. "She had no concept of acting. But we thought it would be a good thing publicity-wise to have her in the show. We didn't want to praise prostitution. I thought this was a story about people just doing the best they could in life."
The success of the show prompted the film of the same name starring Reynolds and Parton, which Masterson thought trivialized the story and which Chadwelll hated.
"She said the movie was a joke," Kleffman said. "There was nothing about it right except that it happened in a whorehouse."
Friday, February 24, 2012
RiffDog taken to pound?
Blog has been removed
Sorry, the blog at ashleyandme.blogspot.com has been removed. This address is not available for new blogs.
RuttRow!
RIP Ashley and Me
Day 2 - Public Service Announcement
Project 4 - Day 1
Girls Are Weird
Now I Know How Justin Bieber Feels
Reader Email - The Angry Kind!
Does Ashley Madison Work? Does the Pope pimp little boys to Nazi stormtroopers?
Wayback Sex Machine
Tuesday, February 21, 2012
Sugar Babies
Buyer Beware
Portrait of a Sugar Baby
Sex work is a controversial and polarized topic, and there are many perspectives on it. My position is complex—but for me, when it comes to how we actually interact with sex workers, one important factor is whether or not they consent to and enjoy their jobs. I am absolutely in favor of giving better options to sex workers who do not enjoy their jobs, and I am horrified by the idea of a person being trafficked or coerced into sex that they don’t want to have. But I also know people who have sex for money 100% voluntarily, and I do not want to deny their experience.
My friend Olivia, a 25-year-old graduate student, recently started advertising her services on a “Sugar Baby” site called SeekingArrangement.com. I think it’s important for more people to understand these kinds of experiences, so I asked to interview her. Many people have pointed out that once a person starts thinking about the definition of “prostitute,” it’s a bit difficult to define what exactly a prostitute is. Some of my sex worker friends have asked the question: What exactly is the difference between a person whose partner buys her a fancy dinner after which they have sex, and a person whose partner buys sex with money? Olivia has thought at length about this, and I’m grateful to her for sharing her perspective on that question, and others.
Please note that Olivia is exceptionally privileged. What you are about to read is a portrait of what the sex industry looks like for a person who is very privileged: she comes from a white upper-middle-class background, she is not desperate, she is being paid a lot of money, she does not have a drug addiction. Many other peoples’ experiences in the sex industry are very different.
The interview went long, so we’re going to post it in two parts. Here’s part 1:
Clarisse Thorn: Hey Olivia, thanks so much for being willing to talk about this incredibly complicated topic. Could you start by defining a sugar baby site? What is it?
Olivia: I use the site SeekingArrangement.com. It’s very hard to pin down exactly what it does. I guess it connects people, usually with a big age gap, who are interested in exchanging some kind of material goods or financial resources for some form of companionship that is often sexual—but not always.
As far as I can tell, the site’s founder is very against the claim that this is prostitution. He puts out a lot of publicity claiming that this site has nothing to do with prostitution. At first I thought that he was trying to evade legal consequences, but I think he actually probably believes that. The site has a blog that he controls, and you can look at it to get a sense of what he’s thinking. One post I think is really interesting is called “Sugar Baby & Sugar Daddy: The Modern Day Princess & Prince?" which compares being a sugar baby to a kind of “happily ever after” princess fantasy.
So far, no one I’ve talked to seems remotely interested in hiring what they see as a “prostitute.” They seem to want to be having sex with someone they find very attractive who is also someone they feel like they can respect, whose intelligence they respect. For example, someone I see occasionally—the last time I saw him, he gave me money at the end and he said that he felt good about giving me the money because he knew I wouldn’t spend it on, quote, “a designer handbag.” He seems to think that I am reasonably ambitious and have my shit together, and he seems to feel more comfortable giving me money because he knows it goes towards my grad school costs and credit card debt. My ability to write with proper grammar, without overusing emoticons, appears to be my biggest sales point. Men have told me this outright.
That guy also mentioned feeling more comfortable because he thinks I’m from the same social class as he is. There are a lot of class issues coming up in these encounters, I think. Being white and from an upper-middle class background may help me get clients. My background has also given me a ton of confidence that puts me at an advantage when negotiating. I do not think I radiate “take advantage of me,” and I (nicely) tell guys who start doing that to go away.
The guy I was just talking about—he also mentioned that he feels like he doesn’t want to have sex with someone that he doesn’t feel at least a little bit connected to. There’s a distinction between meaningless sex and casual sex. I think these guys want casual sex—maybe they aren’t at the point where they want to deal with having a partner, or they’re really busy at work, or they already have another partner—they want casual sex but not meaningless sex.
In my encounters with these men, the money does two things. Firstly, it enables them to have a relationship with me that they wouldn’t otherwise be able to have. Secondly, it puts them in this position where they can give me something valuable and have that be appreciated. The guys I see really want to feel appreciated.
Clarisse Thorn: Do you feel like this has given you any new insight into gender roles?
Olivia: Hmm …. It’s made me feel more powerful. I definitely feel like I am the one with the power in this situation. When I show up, I don’t feel like: Here is this rich, powerful person who is about to bestow wealth upon me. I feel like: Here is this person who is a bit sad and lonely, and maybe I can make their day better.
A lot of the men who are on this site want to feel appreciated, so it’s important to them that the woman they’re with gives off the appearance of appreciating them. So, for example, on the website, there’s a lot of talk about sugar daddies being “mentors” or “benefactors” rather than clients. They seem to want some combination of me asking them about their day, and they also want to feel like they’re bestowing knowledge upon me about the world. One of the men I see will always talk about his opinions about money. He has complicated feelings about himself having money because he doesn’t come from money, so he’s trying to work those out. But he also keeps telling me in a very serious voice that money will not make me happy, that nothing I can buy will make me happy. I tell him that I can buy security and he says yes, that is one thing I can buy.
Other men seem to be having issues with their age. One mentioned that he’s just turned 40, and that’s really bugging him. Then he flaked out on me a couple times—I don’t think he was completely OK with his own decision to be seeing me. But anyway, often, another thing these men seem to get out of it is access to someone who has a bunch of youthful energy and optimism and just plain new ideas. A lot of them have mentioned feeling stuck, or bored, or cynical, or intellectually constrained. So in this sense, sex is only one thing I’m offering them—I’m also offering them optimism, hope, energy, and so on. Firstly, the sex is good in and of itself, as most of them aren’t getting laid otherwise. But the sex is also a symbol of them getting access to my youthful energy or whatever.
I think the archetypal image of a mistress involves a woman being “kept” so that she doesn’t have to work, so that she can be available for sex basically whenever. But I don’t think this is what the men I see want. I am more valuable to them because I have other work that I am seriously invested in, and am having sex with them anyway. Again, these men are interested in a woman who they see as more “equal” to them—in this case, defined by earnings potential—and they seem gratified by the idea that they could help me enter their income bracket someday. This is, of course, still kind of patronizing; like I said, they keep using words like “mentor.” It’s also presumptuous. But I think a lot of them being patronizing and presumptuous can probably be attributed to age and wealth, and only some of it to gender.
I think I’ve learned more about class and money than I have about gender. It turns out there are people to whom $1,000 versus $3,000 doesn’t matter that much, and I finally understand that on a visceral level—$1,000 doesn’t mean the same thing to me as it does to most of them. I knew this, but now I really know it.
Another thing I’ve been struck by is exactly how much romantic relationships are worth. I’ve had several clients tell me they don’t feel wealthy, and they feel like they worry about money a lot. I think they were sincere. Of course, my first thought was: don’t you think that your $2,000-per-month prostitute is part of the budget that could be trimmed? But I think that maybe it’s not, actually. I think they think that investing a lot of money in me is a good investment for them if it gives them a release valve so they can deal with the rest of their lives. They’re probably right.
Clarisse Thorn: You mentioned that you feel powerful in your relationships with these men. But there are issues of your safety, right?
Olivia: I think there are issues of safety anytime a person meets someone they don’t really know, especially if they plan to spend time in private. And especially if you’re dealing with topics as sensitive as sex or money. There may be more issues of safety with this because some people really do believe that money can buy them anything. But for the most part, when I meet people they seem very respectful.
Things I do to increase my safety are that I tell my husband and my friends where I’m going to be, I tell them exactly where I am. I’ll do things like take down a client’s license plate number and text it to my husband. I’ve been thinking maybe I should look at each client’s driver’s license too, and text the client’s name and driver’s license number to my husband. I think some clients might feel threatened by that, though.
The most important thing for my safety is that I’m willing and able to walk away from situations. I’m not desperate—I won’t starve or die if I don’t do this work. I meet all my clients in public first for a meal, and if someone sketches me out, I leave. I’m not so desperate that I’ll get into a situation that scares me.
I guess I am at risk if I meet a really crazy person who wants to chop me up and put me in a dumpster. But I could meet a person like that during a normal night at a bar, too.
The major risks that I see is that I might catch an STD—but I use protection. I might end up alone with someone who believes that the money he’s paying actually gives him the entitlement to do whatever he wants to my body, but I’ve never encountered anyone like that. The thing is, as I said before, I haven’t met anyone who I think would actually describe themselves as paying for sex. The terms on which I continue to see these men are probably less explicitly negotiated than an escort’s terms would be. I don’t have flat rates, for example.
I’ve heard escorts complaining that people who use sugar baby sites are unprofessional, and I think that from an escort’s perspective, they probably are.
Clarisse Thorn: If people are unwilling to actually talk about sex for money, it must be hard to negotiate your encounters. Do you have a set of steps for negotiation?
Olivia: I haven’t been doing this for very long. It’s varied so far. Usually, I meet them for some kind of meal, and we chat. We have a perfunctory conversation, like, “How was your day?” Then one of us will say something like, “Tell me a bit more about what you’re looking for. Why are you on the site?”
Then we’ll explain our deal to each other. Like, he might say: “I’m divorced, I’m looking for companionship.” At some point, money comes up. I am always extremely vague when I talk about money. I’ve found a good deal of variation in how squeamish people are about money.
For example, one client was saying that he wanted to get married again, but not yet. I said, “Huh, well, if you’re interested in a more emotional relationship, how do you feel about involving money?” The way he explained it to me was that people are attracted to each other for all kinds of reasons, probably including money, so why not be up front about the fact that money is attractive. He seemed almost confused about why I asked. With that guy, I ended up sleeping with him before we even talked about money, which was a huge risk, but I thought it might work, and it did. We had the money conversation immediately after we had sex—at some point when we were taking a break, I asked what he was looking for more specifically from this relationship, and he said that he wanted to see me again, maybe once a week. I think I asked him his preference for a monthly allowance as opposed to every time we meet, and he said he’d rather do something monthly. Then when we were getting dressed, he pulled out $1,000 cash and handed it to me, and said, “I’ll give you the balance next time we see each other.”
With other people, I can be more straightforward. Maybe they aren’t sure how to set up the relationship, so maybe I talk about another client, like: “I have another client I see three times per month for $3,000,” and they might say, “That sounds good.” But some guys will just negotiate it per encounter. One guy brought it up very quickly after we’d exchanged some emails. He said that he prefers to do a “per meet” of $300—he called it a “per meet”—I told him that was too low and quoted him $1,000, and he said he’d meet me in the middle. Another guy told me that he would just slip $400 into my purse when he saw me, and that’s exactly what he did.
I have one client I’ve never explicitly discussed money with at all. I had lunch with him, and we didn’t negotiate anything, though we talked a little bit about our reasons for being on the site. The next time I saw him—we were deciding where to meet, and he asked if he should get us a room. I said that I would like that, so I met him and we had sex. He knew it was my birthday soon, so as we were getting dressed, he said, “I know we haven’t talked about money, so I got you some birthday spending money,” and he handed me an envelope with $400. The next time I saw him, he asked about my plans for the evening. I said I was having dinner with a friend, and he handed me $400 in an envelope and said, “Maybe this will help pay for it.” I’m lucky that I’m willing to accept $400—it’s my lower bound, but I’m willing to accept it. Imagine if I hadn’t been willing to take $400—that would be super awkward. Probably I should have negotiated that situation more clearly, but it worked out OK .
I’ve heard about situations where unclear negotiations did not work out OK. There was a “New York Times Magazine” article about the site published in 2009. In that article, there were some examples of unclear negotiations that didn’t work out well. But it sounded like that woman didn’t really know what she wanted, and didn’t really enjoy the work. But I do. And I know other women who do, too.
I have a new client who paid me $3,000 up front to see me three times a month. But I haven’t heard from him since our first meeting. If I were his girlfriend, I’d call him, but he asked me not to call him. So I don’t really know what the deal with that one is. Maybe he’s gonna flake out on me, but he already gave me $3,000, so that would be weird.
Clarisse Thorn: So, your husband. You mentioned him briefly. How does your husband feel about this?
Olivia: He does not seem particularly threatened. We already have an open relationship. I think he sometimes feels very visceral jealousy, but that’s just like any other time one of us has sex with somebody else. We just have to talk about it.
Part of the deal here is that I’m doing this because I’m broke. My husband really wants to be able to support me financially, but he can’t right now, so I’m supporting both of us doing this. I think that’s a real blow to his ego. To the extent that he gets bothered, I think it’s because I’m allowing other men to support me and give me money; he doesn’t care about the sex. Even though I see this as work, he sees this as “here’s this rich successful guy who just gave my wife a bunch of money, and she slept with him, so probably she’s attracted to him.”
I am kind of attracted to my clients, and I kind of get off on making them happy, and I happen to think that the age difference is kind of hot. I like having sex with them; it’s not unpleasant. I like hearing about these guys’ life stories. I think it’s interesting. But these guys would never be a threat to my husband. I would never be sleeping with any of them except for the money. And I love my husband. I’m always very up front about the fact that I’m married and I love my husband. My clients accept that.
The rise and rise of the American Sugar Daddy
There is nothing particularly subtle about the sales patter. "We make mutually beneficial relationships," goes one pitch. "We are where the attractive meet the affluent," claims another. A third bills itself: "An upscale community of beautiful women seeking wealthy men."
The service being brokered is as old as the institution of arranged marriage. But the medium it's being offered through isn't. The pitches are aimed at wealthy male "sugar daddies" who, in the jargon of lonely hearts ads, WLTM very much younger women.
In America's booming online dating market, few sectors are hotter than so-called "sugar daddy" sites, which help rich men to make "arrangements" with attractive and financially needy younger women. Between them, these specialist sites now account for 10 per cent of the entire industry. That's no small beans, given that in the US the online dating business now generates profits estimated at $700m ($442m) per year and, according to the polling firm GlobeSpan, has helped just over one in five Americans to find their life partner.
The "sugar daddy" trend began in 2006, when the entrepreneur Brandon Lee founded a website called SeekingArrangement. Though it now boasts dozens of copycats, he claims to have a attracted a million members worldwide. The older, male subscribers pay a fee of $50 per month; young women can join for free.
Mr Lee says that business has been boosted by a mixture of the faltering economy, which has increased the number of cash-hungry young members, and the robust number of baby boomers who, often with pharmaceutical assistance, are continuing to enjoy active sex lives.
"We are also noticing an increased number of college students signing up," he says. "When I started the site, roughly one in four of what I call my 'sugar babies' were at college; now, that figure is closer to four out of 10. University fees have got more expensive, and loans are harder to come by so, for many young women, getting a sugar daddy becomes an increasingly attractive option."
Mr Lee says that business has also been helped by the number of headline-prone celebrities, of both genders, taking up with "sugar babies." Though Hugh Hefner remains the most legendary of these, Mr Lee cites Jim Carrey, Madonna and Jennifer Lopez as recent high-profile converts to the trend.
Although many of his website's members are wealthy (he claims to have two of the "Forbes top 10" richest Americans as clients), Mr Lee – who employs a staff of 14 and has his head office in Las Vegas – says that increasing numbers come from middle-income brackets.
"Being a sugar daddy isn't so much about being wealthy as about just being generous," he says. "It's all about an attitude. Sure, we have some billionaire clients. But we also have plenty of members who earn $60,000-70,000 a year, and maybe have only a couple of grand to spare each month. Well, if they have the right character, that's still enough."
The trend became a national talking point this week after CBS showed a documentary about a 22-year-old student from Miami who uses Mr Lee's site, and others, to find gentlemen companions willing to subsidise a monthly allowance of between $10,000 and $20,000.
"The lesson here [is] ask and you shall receive," she announced. "They have given me cars, trips, jewellery. These guys will take you out and they will court you. They support you financially. My dreams came true after my parents stopped supporting me when I was 18."
Various men she has met on the site have paid her college fees in return for exclusive relationships. "They see you struggling; they want to help you. Whether or not it is an arrangement, it is still a relationship."
Some viewers thought the lifestyle outlined in the documentary bordered on prostitution. The student, who kept her identity secret, insisted otherwise, although she admitted that most of her "sugar daddy" relationships haven't lasted more than a few months.
Mr Lee, however, insists that his site can help people find true love. "We have had plenty of clients who have entered long-term relationships with people they met on the site," he said. "It can work."
As if to prove a point, he said that he married his own "sugar baby" a fortnight ago. "I'm 41, she is 26 and I pay for everything," he said. "It works."
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