Monday, December 30, 2013

10 Tips for Lovers to Keep Your Friend from Cheating


Ladees do you want you in this pic, or your competition?

Why do men cheat? To survive.

10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating, Annotated Edition

Reposted from Prowling with Kat, annotations by W&H

Ok, I know that your first reaction to this is going to be that it's not your fault if he cheats, and you are right, of course. Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Not only that, but there are some guys who are going to cheat no matter what you do just because they are addicted to the newness of fresh pussy (If my use of the word "pussy" just offended you, get over it. You need to toughen up if you are going to compete with the prowling women out there, ok?). As I was saying, even though you are not responsible for his choices, there are some things you can do to minimize the chances that your man will stray.

Yes, sex addiction is real. But most men will be loyal -- it's a hellova lot less work, less risk, less expensive, less hassle, and usually better sex. It usually takes alot of bullshite for a guy to go hunting new pussy. In PUA Speak a Tester is a whore or hooker, an otherwise ordinary person who got abused sexually (often in childhood) or abandoned by a parent or lover, who seeks comfort and security by diversifying their portfolio with perhaps 100s of lovers, as a "legitimate" strategy to prevent going insane. PUA Speak defines Investor as a person seeking a monogamous LTR, who once they finally "fix" their lover and get what they want, they ditch them as fast as they can. Advantages and disadvantages to both...

I know what I'm talking about. I have been "the other woman" with more than a few "happily married" men. I've listened to countless stories about their wives and their marriages and how they would like them to be different. The first thing I want to tell you is that, almost without exception, they really do love you and they really do want their marriages to work. But some things are missing.

Yes. Beware a sexless, loveless, emotionless relationship, almost always derailed by a woman's addictions to meds, drugs, alcohol, food, work, hobbies, kids. If you want to be addicted to something, let it be your man's dick, exercise, nutrition, the study of sex, and the feminine arts.

Here are some tips to help you address those things before your man steps out of the marriage to find them:

Pay attention ladies. Kat knows what she's talking about.

1. Don't underestimate the importance of a sexual relationship to a man. Women tend to minimize the importance of sex and write it off as a male perversion, but it's not. Wanting sex regularly, particularly with the woman they love, is completely normal - biologically and emotionally. Cutting it off has all sorts of ramifications, not the least of which is that they will often feel unwanted and like they are not fully appreciated as a man. It's a big deal. Please stop acting like it's not. We could debate all day about whether other things in a relationship are or should be more important, but that doesn't matter. The fact remains that your husband needs a satisfying sexual relationship with you to be truly happy in the marriage. It's not just a want, but a need.

It's a fundamental need for human-to-human contact, just like a newborn baby requires human contact from its mother or it quickly goes insane. Or like food, water and air.

2. Make your husband feel like sex with him is important to you, too. The one thing I have heard from every single married man I've ever been with is what a turn on it is to be with a woman who wants to have sex, and who wants to have sex with him. They feel like you don't want them anymore and your half-hearted attempts to give in to them as you openly act like you just want it over with as soon as possible are hurtful to some and downright offensive to others. Your husband's sexual satisfaction is not just about orgasm. He needs to feel that you want to have sex with him and that you enjoy it.

Yes, very important. Most men drop the ball here by failing to even try to satisfy their woman. Many lack the skillset to make it happen even if they tried. In the case of hookers, X callgirl Miss Lovely said 90% of her customers didn't make any attempt to give their fuckbuddy an orgasm, with permanent damage to the hookers. Probably similar stats for married women, since most customers of hookers are married. Me nalso need to care about appearance, fitness and hygiene, which not only makes their lady happier, it helps the man's confidence and performance. SHAVE, you know where.

3. Get help to get over your "issues." Many men say that their wife has just lost interest in sex and that there appears to be nothing that either spouse can do about that. That is simply not true. If you have lost interest in sex, please go to your doctor and tell him that you have lost interest and ask for help. There are many biological conditions that might be interfering with your libido. Work with your doctor to find any problem, if there is one, and treat it. After that, if you still have no desire, seek counseling.

Yes. Plus there are many natural hormone replacements besides dangerous meds. While receiving counseling and group therapy for men of raped women at a sexual assault crisis center, we watched a video of a woman bragging how she intentionally made herself ugly just to keep her husband from wanting sex...she had a creepy smile on her face when she said it... She was raped in childhood not by her husband. I have no idea if this woman got cured, but I doubt it. PUA experts say only 5% of the female population is fuckable and want to be fucked...these are horrible odds for the average man trying to get laid, even in a relationship or marriage. Ladees, if you find yourself turning into a bull dyke with increasing age, get hormone replacement therapy STAT. Manhands prevent a lady from even giving a handjob, so wear gloves when working, or get HRT.

4. Learn to give (and like) oral sex. Men like oral sex. I often hear them say that their wives won't do it or that their wives don't do it well. If I told you that learning to give good head might be the difference between losing or keeping your husband, would you do it? Good girl. So, educate yourself. When I was newly married, I knew my husband loved to receive oral satisfaction, but I also felt very inadequate because I knew I didn't know what I was doing. One day, I sat him down and I told him how I was feeling. I told him that I wanted to learn how to do it, and I asked him if he would teach me what he likes and what he doesn't. And I also asked him to be patient with me. Before I was even done saying that, his pants were off and his cock was hard, and he was ready to give me my first lesson. He talked me through it. I tried different things. He gave me immediate feedback (kind words, moans, and cum) when I did it well. I practiced....a lot, because it was important to me to please him. I also looked at some books and videos and tried to learn even more. I really got into it and learned to like it (a lot), and my husband was turned on by the fact that I wanted to learn.

Yes. My X wife was raped at knifepoint by a coworker on Valentines Day (trial and death threats years before we met), so she was forever turned off to giving head, or getting flowers on Valentines Day. She refused all counseling. When I met Miss Lovely after my divorce, she taught me what I was missing. It was amazing! Even when giving a handjob with a smile, she loved licking my cum. It's an acceptance thing... "I accept you and love you as a man and human being." This got me more interested in giving oral to her, up to 1.5 hours oral per date, up to 3 hours oral per week (her meds delayed or blocked orgasm, off meds she'd cum in 5 minutes). Before I could do this, I had to learn to accept her as a human being and a woman, with her history of 50 customers and 5 or more regulars including BF. If I can suck it up, so can you. Giving her oral to get warmed up made the fucking 10 times hotter, because she was cumming constantly and getting into it 10 times more. And ladees, learn how to give a GREAT handjob, very handy while driving as well! A happy ending with 45-minute nude massage is worth at least $150 on the open market, and is priceless for maintaining a steady relationship. Go to an AMP and watch the professionals give your man a table shower and bodyrub with happy ending, if you really want to be a sexpert. Yes, you can get a massage and table shower too... SHAVE, you know where.

5. Speak up, and teach your husband what turns you on. Trust me, your pleasure is a big turn on for your husband. If he's just missing the mark, so to speak, in helping you come to orgasm, show him what to do. Talk him through it. He will get the message that you really want pleasure, which he will love, and he'll want to give it to you. For a man, a huge part of feeling sexually powerful is knowing that he can please a woman. I've been with men who who were just deliriously excited that they could make me come because they thought they had lost the ability to bring a woman pleasure and my orgasm showed them that wasn't true. Their wives' lack of interest had actually convinced these men that there was something wrong with them. They had lost confidence, and they went to another woman to get it back. Let your husband please you. Show him how. If you don't know how, get professional help (see #3, above).

Yes. Men should ask what turns her on, then get lessons. That's when I discovered how important oral is to a woman, especially one who fucks lots of men who mostly refuse to take care of her needs. My Good Girls however, hated oral, but then they usually hated having sex, too, unless the planets were in alignment on the summer solstice. This works both ways. I had to teach a professional, Miss Lovely, how to give a proper handjob, hitting the man-clit with each stroke. When I explained it that way, she understood instantly. Amazing how many women, even professionals, can't give a proper handjob, so I have to teach them. And talking during sex can be extremely hot... Selfie pics and porn vids are great during sex as well, and are excellent time-wasters for those long hours in-between liasons, much more satisfying than internet porn.

6. Have more sex. Interestingly, the more you have sex, the more you'll want sex. It stimulates the pleasure center of your brain and gets your hormones and other juices flowing. Sometimes the best way to shake your libido awake is just to start having sex.

Yes. YMMV but I need sex at least 3 times a week to feel normal and human and sane and loved, but sometimes I enjoyed an all-nighter with Miss Lovely, fucking until 6 am, then going to work at 9. I actually performed better on the job under this kind of pressure and release, but I did require DHEA to keep my testosterone up, and high-dose extended release niacin for energy (500mg).

7. Try something new. Buy your husband a sex toy to try out on you. Get an instructional sex book or DVD and try new positions together. You can never be "fresh pussy" for your husband like you were when you were first married, but you can do the next best thing - you can keep it as fresh as possible by not falling into a routine of doing the same thing every time. You may think that your husband should take the lead on this if it matters to him, but often your husband won't try something new because he's afraid he'll offend you and then he won't get any sex at all (and that is something most men want to avoid at all costs). If you bring up new things to try, he'll know that you understand how important the sexual relationship is to him and you'll keep him wondering what fun thing you'll come up with next. And that will keep him at home with you.

Yes. Sex toys get women in the mood almost as good as a good oral fucking. Best I've found is the little Magic Bullet, with a single AAA battery, powerful, easy to hold, doesn't get heavy, runs forever, no unsightly power cord, can carry in your pocket for covert rondeveus. Miss Lovely complained that 80% of her customers wanted to fuck her in the ass, which she did once enjoy with her first BF as a young teenager, but even that was on opiates, and now she hates him. So now, she hates anal sex like she's a mangina, and would lie to bait-and-switch her 50 customers, then find an excuse to not do it once they've paid their money. This resulted in a few anal rapes and robberies, to go with her near-murders by nonconsentual choking. So guys, don't be fags or lunatics or serial killers, it's probably a turn off to your significant others, or might kill them. Instead, get counseling for your gayness and daddy issues, or go kill yourselves. Please, so you quit ruining it for the rest of us.

8. Remember that sex starts outside the bedroom. I know. Men are really bad about this. I can't tell you how many times over the last 20+ years my husband has been short with me or cranky and then wanted sex when we went to bed. It's like there's a total disconnect between the brain and the cock. Still, if you want your husband to stay sexually interested in you, you need to give him something to be interested in. Send him sweet (and maybe even dirty) little text messages and notes ("Watching you come out of the shower this morning got me wet, too. Can't wait 'til tonight." "I love you. Can't wait to feel your arms around me again."). Get as naughty as you want. This is your husband, for goodness' sake! Don't be shy. Just remember, if your husband is having an affair, he's going to be getting even naughtier little messages than the examples I gave you, and he'll love them and they will make him rush to her to get some of the real thing. Don't you want him thinking about you and rushing home to you instead?

Yes, thank you Kat, excellent tips. A gentle massage fixes everything. So does laughing. Girly Talk can defuse any argument. I really enjoy my nudie selfie sexts from my hooker friends, who say the most amazing things in person. Fuck I love fucking them! Wish I could find a GF who understands how important that stuff is, and how fun it is. My X wife however, refused to even get a cellphone, even when I gave her one prepaid.

9. Be nice to your husband. This is really part of #8, but I wanted to list it separately because it's very important. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but some of you are just bitches to your men. You henpeck them and try to control them constantly, you speak to them very harshly and rudely, and you belittle their attempts at affection. Why are you surprised when they find escape in the arms of a woman who speaks softly and gently to them and treats them nicely? Now, this doesn't apply to all of you because I often hear from men that they love everything about their wives except their sex lives, but I also hear from others that they are tired of being treated like a meal ticket and a home repair man. When a marriage is going through a rough spell, it can be hard to remember the basic courtesies of companionship, but please make an effort. Say "please" and "thank you." Follow the basic rule you learned from your mom - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" - and follow the Golden Rule.

Yes. It helps for men and women to do chores together, even if one is just supervising, especially if the supervisor is so fucking cute as Miss Lovely barking orders in her patented Little Girly Girl voice (EVERY woman should learn girly speak in their skillset). I enjoyed doing dishes as much as she hated doing them. It would've been even more fun had she been in something extra sexy, or nothing at all, as she often liked to wear around my house. Fucking before or after, or during, makes chores a LOT more pleasant, as in the case with Miss Lovely. Women vastly underestimate their powers of persuasion with this technique.

10. Don't give up. It's hard to change behavior and learn new skills and habits, even if you really want to. Please don't give up. The cost will be a great one if you quit, but the payoff if you persevere will be wonderful. Imagine your husband doting on you like he did when you were first married. Wouldn't you love to be fully satisfied in the bedroom? You can be, and so can he. No, it's not as easy as it was when you were new together, but that doesn't mean that it can't be even better if you make a good effort. Isn't he worth it?

You're never too old till you die. Once over the hill you just pick up speed. Quit making excuses and just do it!

On a Final Note, so many couples fall appart under financial pressures, and their sex lives are first to go. But sex is FREE. When the bills are overdue or you can't afford that special piece of crap made in commie china you've been lusting for, there's nothing like an orgasm to put things in perspective. The happiest people I've ever seen are usually the "poorest", and the most miserable are usually the "richest". God made us to fuck, who are you to argue with The Creator? Besides, preggie sex can be the best sex of your life, and even childbirth can be the best sex of your life! lol

Sunday, December 22, 2013

Sex Injury #1 : Orgasmic Childbirth

Yes! Orgasms During Birth Are Real, Study Proves

Stephanie Pappas
LiveScience.com
May 31, 2013

When Elena Skoko gave birth to her daughter three years ago, she felt pain. But she also felt something else: waves of pleasure so ecstatic they compared to an orgasm.

"I had this wavy sensation of blissful waves going through me," said Skoko, a singer and author of "Memoirs of a Singing Birth" (lulu.com, 2012).


Orgasmic birth on ABC News 20/20

Though childbirth is frequently spoken of in terms of pain and punishment, some women do experience what are known as orgasmic or ecstatic births. A new survey, available online May 3 in the journal Sexologies, finds that midwives report witnessing orgasms in about 0.3 percent of births.

Anatomically, orgasmic birth is no surprise, said Barry Komisaruk, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University in New Jersey who studies orgasm. In fact, the intense stimulation of the vaginal canal in childbirth may work to block pain — whether that stimulation is felt as sexual or not. [Awkward Anatomy: 10 Odd Facts About the Female Body]


Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying, and Pleasurable Birth Experience - With more than 4 million babies born in the United States each year, over 120,000 women have orgasms during childbirth

Orgasmic birth: Yes, really

Anecdotal reports of orgasm during birth have long circulated in the natural childbirth community. These reports reached perhaps their widest audience yet in 2009 with the documentary "Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret," directed by childbirth educator Debra Pascali-Bonaro.

People are often skeptical of the concept of pleasure during birth, Pascali-Bonaro told LiveScience. Some see the idea of sexual feelings during childbirth as unacceptable, she said.

"People see 'birth' and 'orgasmic' together on paper, and it pushes all their buttons on sexuality," Pascali-Bonaro said. In addition, she said, many women in America give birth in settings where they aren't able to move around freely because of fetal monitoring devices, where they have little labor support and where they aren't allowed water to drink in case of a C-section (food and beverages aren't permitted before surgery). All of these limitations make a pleasurable birth experience less likely and less imaginable for women who've had babies, she said.

The new study, conducted by psychologist Thierry Postel of Blainville-sur-Mer, France, is among the first to try to put hard numbers on how many women experience moments of ecstasy in birth. Postel contacted 956 French midwives, asking them to complete an online questionnaire about orgasmic birth. He got 109 complete responses for midwives, who, combined, had assisted 206,000 births in their careers.

Postel focused on midwives rather than doctors or nurses, because midwives witness many births firsthand and are reliable observers, he wrote. He also asked midwives to forward the surveys to recent mothers if they saw fit.

The results "established the fact that obstetrical pleasure exists," Postel wrote. Midwives reported 668 cases in which mothers told midwives they'd felt orgasmic sensations in birth. In another 868 cases, midwives said they'd seen mothers demonstrate signs of pleasure during childbirth. Finally, nine mothers completed questionnaires confirming they'd experienced an orgasm during birth.

If anything, Pascali-Bonaro said, the survey likely underestimates the number of women who've experienced pleasure in birth by asking primarily midwives rather than mothers about their experiences. In one screening of her film, Pascali-Bonaro said an obstetrician stood up to say he'd never witnessed anything remotely orgasmic in his years of delivering babies.

"Three rows behind him a woman jumped up and said, 'Doctor, I gave birth with you three years ago, and I had a very orgasmic birth, with an orgasm, but what makes you think I would tell you?'" Pascali-Bonaro said.


Orgasmic Birth -- The Documentary

The anatomy of orgasmic birth

Skeptics of orgasmic birth abound — "I've also heard that men can enjoy a similar experience by having an intimate encounter with a 20-ton press," a commenter appropriately named "Skeptic" posted on a 2008 New York Times article about Pascali-Bonaro's movie. But research suggests that orgasm during birth comes down to simple anatomy.

"It's stimulation of the birth canal, stimulation of the cervix, the vagina and the clitoris and uterine contractions," Komisaruk told LiveScience. "A lot of women say during sexual orgasms uterine contractions feel pleasurable."

Every woman's anatomy is different, Komisaruk said, so some women may experience pleasure during childbirth while others feel only the pain. [5 Surprising Facts About Pain]

"There are so many factors that could make the difference between a pleasurable response and a terribly stressful, aversive experience that you can't generalize it," he said. "There's no reason to try to generalize. Different people have different pain thresholds. Different people have different attitudes. If a woman has a fear of sexuality, if she starts having a pleasurable sensation she may feel this is completely inappropriate psychologically, and that itself could be an aversive effect."

In other words: No pressure.

"Our message is not at all that this should be a performance standard," Pascali-Bonaro said. Rather, she said, her goal is to see women given the full range of options for birth and the support they need to experience moments of joy and bliss during the process.

The science of pain and pleasure

Whether or not orgasmic birth is in the cards, the anatomy involved brings good news for laboring women. Komisaruk and his colleagues have found that sexual stimulation and orgasm reduce sensitivity to pain. (Sex can even cure migraines, according to a March 2013 study.)

In 1988, Komisaruk and his co-researchers published a study in the Journal of Sex Research that found when women stimulated their vaginas or clitorises, they became less sensitive to painful stimulation — but not to other tactile stimulation. In 1990, the researchers followed up with a study that found women in labor had reduced pain sensitivity during labor compared with before and after. (The women in the study used Lamaze breathing techniques rather than drugs to control pain.)[Blossoming Body: 8 Odd Changes That Occur During Pregnancy]

In rats, Komisaruk has found that vaginal stimulation blocks the release of a pain transmitter called Substance P right at the level of the spinal cord. In other words, the sensory neurons tasked with transmitting their message of "ouch!" to the central nervous system are stymied from the get-go.

"It's an actual physiological, very primordial system of the genital system blocking pain input," Komisaruk said.

In addition, two regions of the brain that become active during orgasm, the anterior cingulate cortex and the insula, are also active during painful experiences.

"There's something very intriguing going on between pain and pleasure," said Komisaruk.

Komisaruk holds a patent on the substance that blocks the pain in rats, called vasoactive intestinal peptide. A few pharmaceutical companies have shown interest, he said, but none have yet been willing to shell out the money it would take to test the substance for use as a pain medication in humans.

Out of the laboratory and in the delivery room, clitoral and nipple stimulation provide pain relief for some women during labor, Pascali-Bonaro said. Some even use vibrators during labor to decrease pain.

"It's such a culture where some women actually feel shamedthat they have pleasure, because the expectation is pain," Pascali-Bonaro said. "We have to change that."

For Skoko, who sang in order to get through her contractions, accepting sensuality into the birthing room was key.

"The moment I realized my body is behaving sensually spontaneously and not obstructing that feeling, and just going with this feeling of my sensual body, my labor just went fast ahead," said Skoko, who gave birth at the Yayasan Bumi Sehat natural birth center in Bali, Indonesia, where she lives part-time.

"I had pain, but was not afraid of it, because I was dealing with it," Skoko said. "It was fun, because I could laugh through it."

A Little Lady

70,217,332 plays on Youtube...click here for official music video

A Team + Little Lady = Remix

by Ed Sheeran with Mikill Pane

[Verse 1 - Mikill Pane:]
Listen
Little lady, this is just the worst way to spend your birthday
it's 30 degrees, Thursday
you work late, you was with a perv making dirty fake love in his Mercedes
lady the word 'rape' sums up events that take place every night
you wanna get up but you know your legs will ache if you try
And you remember that your punter went crazy last night
you drag yourself to the mirror to check your face then you cry
forget the visit to the clinic you was booked in for
you'll make a trip to the Whittington were they'll look at your jaw
they'll be inquisitive and ask about your business for sure
they'll know you're fibbing if you tell them you got hit by a door
but young woman
the pimp sees you as nothing but a dumb hooker
medical attention could be fatal
'cause the cunt wouldn't ever let a doctor near someone thats getting dough for him
'cause next you got poxy authorities sticking their noses in

A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
She's just under the upper hand
goes mad for a couple grams
And she don't wanna go outside tonight.
'cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
It's too cold outside for angels to fly.

A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Verse 2 - Mikill Pane:]
Little lady, your mind you've made up
your injuries you can't hide with make-up
you need some medical advice, you make up
a little lie to say just
in case the doc opens his eyes and don't decide to play dumb
with any luck you'll see the same dude who stiched your top lip
last year when your pimp just lost it
he wouldn't recognise if you stared him in the face anyway
'cos all the heroin is making you age
but your a heroine for taking the strain of being a prostitue and punching bag
the funds you have left go where your from using moneygram
mother had to get you out the motherland to study
that was all she struggled to have a single daughter with the upper hand
little does she know you're never coming back
she put you in her brother's hand only for him to formulate another plan
he's the fucking cause of your appalling state the summer
fancy that; you came to London to get pimped by your uncle, damn.

A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
She's just under the upper hand
goes mad for a couple grams
And she don't wanna go outside tonight.
'cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
It's too cold outside for angels to fly
Now an angel will die, covered in white
with closed eyes, hoping for a better life
this time, we'll fade out tonight,
straight down the line.

A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Verse 3 - Mikill Pane:]
Little lady, you're trembling with fear
your skinny frame kinda resembles the dear
you're sitting facing the detective, oh dear
the meddling nurse couldn't just leave it,
she's only gone and made it much worse calling police in.
She'll never know the gravity of the damage she's caused.
You're causing scandal, going mad in the ward now
the copper's trying to calm you, telling you he won't let no one harm you
the same question he keeps trying to ask you, "Who you working for?"
He's talking to like you're worth more than a dirty whore.
You're having a conversation you could be murdered for.
You're learning more about exactly why you need to help bring him or her to court
He's kicking knowledge you ain't ever heard before
just before he leaves, he reassures you that he knows that it's hard
he underlines a mobile number you can phone on his card
begs you to use it
he's useless if you're gonna be stupid
'cos an answer hasn't come from your bruised lips, you're on your own
you've gotta go and give your pimp what you owe
you reach your door and then it dawns that you've been followed home
before you turn around you feel a cold blade on your throat
and then a voice says, "Where you been bitch? I wanna know."
No prizes for guessing who it is, resistance would be foolishness
you open the front door, he boots you in
there's something new in him, he's silent now that fills you with terror
get your alibi straight, you could be killed for an error
he towers over you, the 6-inch knife catches the sunlight
at this point your life flashes before your eyes
your handbag's dropped and all the contents are all over the floor
despite the mess there's only one thing that's caught his eye
and in the moment of rage, he brutally murders his niece
and dumps her body at the boot of his mercs in the street.
Little lady left this earth in the worst way
all because she got a card on her 13th birthday

A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
We're all under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams;
And we don't wanna go outside tonight.
'Cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
it's too cold outside for angels to fly,
For angels to fly,
To fly;
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly.
Angels die.

Friday, December 13, 2013

Killer PUA


Or just hire a professional

The PUA Identity, The killer instinct, Self esteem

reposted from AuthenticPUA.com

The PUA Identity – How It Develops (A Bit Of History)

The main difference between what a PUA learns and does – and what the average guy out there who knows nothing about this stuff does – is the PUA actually learns the skill of cold approaching. By cold approaching I mean: approaching a woman in any situation – street, bar, nightclub – without having met her before, usually without alcohol (especially in the case of daygame), and definitely more consistently than the average guy. Back in the day there was a common view that the “first 3000 approaches didn’t count” as you were “building up a skillset”. This “practicing” viewpoint in my view can often lead to a real risk of the guy in question actually hindering his progress, as well as developing an unhealthy PUA identity. I’ll illustrate by example. Here is a path / sequence that a newbie might follow as he improves:

Path To The PUA Identity:

1:/ Approach and get blown out

2:/ Approach and get blown out less

3:/ Approach and not get blown out less and have short conversation

4:/ Approach and have longer conversation and collect numbers which flake

5: Approach and have longer conversation and collect numbers which don’t flake and lead to Day2

6:/ Have Day 2′s which infrequently lead to sex

7:/ Have Day 2s which more frequently lead to sex


PUA has sex

And of course, other variables come into play such as the hotness of the girl etc.

Avoiding The PUA Identity

I am not saying this is an accurate depiction of most guys path, just that it is a commonly held viewpoint. I never actually agreed with this viewpoint. I certainly don’t believe this sequence needs to be followed if you approach things in the right way. To take the approaching example, I advocate approaching the women you really want and expressing sexual energy, and actually trying to get laid or pursue what your heart and balls tell you with the girl in question.

Here is a key distinction : some guys think they need to take “baby” steps and actually set up their own roadblocks in their mind about their progress. To me this is nuts! You will find that the woman will put up plenty of her own roadblocks, you don’t need to invent more! (This approach is also inefficient by the way).

Approaching Girls And The PUA Identity

Take this away : next time you try and approach a girl – take it as far as you can. .Literally try and take her to bed – on that day , in that timeframe (unless of course you have something better to do!) If you can’t do it in that timeframe, get her number and MEAN IT. You need to develop what I call the killer instinct. Or if you prefer a sales analogy : Always Be Closing!! I didn’t mention this in my “About Me” section of the website, but as I was learning this stuff, my “practice” consisted of actually fuccking girls on a regular train journey between Milton Keynes and London (this was 6 years ago) – in a 40 minute journey – to and from work! When you go out, try to adopt a similar mindset. Don’t view it as practice. View it as going out to get laid!!

Go out to get laid

The other real danger with this approach is that if you get to the point where you live breathe and eat this stuff – where your ability to approach and “close” defines you – then I believe you’re on a potentially very dark path.

Warning Signs Of An Unhealthy PUA Identity!

I’m probably at around the 300 mark now – (I haven’t counted but it’s something like that) and truth be told nowadays I am not proud of it. It is a symptom of what I used to be like :

1:/ I had something to prove (mostly to myself)

2:/ My ability to get hot women consistently defined me. I made a PUA identity out of it.

3:/ I had a much less healthy view on “rejection” and in some ways took it as an affront to my dignity and identity.

I’ve met guys (very few but they are out there – and they are usually not PUAs!) who have slept with more women than me and continue to do so.

The PUA Identity And Sleeping With Lots Of Girls!

I remember during the few years that I slept with girl after girl, week in week out, I often felt unhappy if I wasn’t getting the results I was used to. On some level I felt I HAD to approach and sleep with more women. I would sometimes kick myself if I didn’t do it, if an attractive girl walked past. I reacted badly to “rejection” It was like a fishook in my mind, a monkey on my back.

Growing Away From The PUA Identity Into Real Self Esteem

For the last few years, I no longer have this feeling. I feel more complete, at ease with myself, content in my own skin, relaxed and happy. This is what I want to impart to you. (As well as the killer pick up artist skills, obviously). It’s why I call my website “AuthenticPUA”. There is no mismatch between what I say and what I do. I approach and sleep with the women I really like (beauty is the 1st criteria, the prerequisite – but it’s not the only one). I never lie to them and I never lie to myself. I don’t worry about rejection because it is no longer my identity (and by the way I get “rejected” much less). I get hotter girls, more easily, more consistently, than ever before – despite my advancing years. Girls love being with me and they want stick around with me, despite me not being rich or excessively good looking (though I do have an extraordinarily large penis). JOKE HA HA.


Is all this work really worth it?

Avoiding The PUA Identity : 2 Key Points

++In your development phase, follow what your balls and instincts tell you to do. Approach the girls you really want, etc etc. and take it as far as you can! Don’t put roadblocks in the way that you don’t need to.

++If you’re further down the path, recognise the symptoms that you have a PUA Identity as a pick up artist and that it defines you in an unhealthy way:

1:/ If you feel this monkey on your back, this nagging feeling to approach and screw more women.

2:/ If you handle rejection badly

3:/ If you can’t laugh at yourself and can’t take a joke about your “skill” with women.

4:/ If you find it hard to have a normal, loving relationship with a woman.

5:/ If you still approach a lot of girls.

If you’re affected by point 2 then I would suggest sitting down and having a good long, hard look at yourself and be brutally honest with yourself. Is what you are doing making you happy? Is it serving you? If it is not then start to change it.

PUA Identity – Other Key Distinctions:

If you’re feeling disinclined to approach – don’t fight it, it’s normal!

If you are having a “bad run” – or you’re not getting great results – don’t let it get you down and for gods sake don’t let this make you feel less of a man! Don’t panic about “losing it” , etc etc (does this ring a bell with any of you?). Think about how weak and disempowering this is and how it comes across to women! A pick up artist must be the only demographic who chases women he really isn’t that bothered about to validate a view of himself as a superstar PUA.

Rest assured that others have taken this path and the above symptoms are healthy , normal signs and should be embraced and responded to appropriately, not rejected. it means you are on your way to developping real self esteem and real inner peace.


There is no greater feeling than fucking a hot wet pussy

And of course – having the ability to meet, attract and seduce the hottest, highest self esteem women you’ve ever met – and keep them.

Wednesday, December 11, 2013

I banged my first 24 year old Chilean tourist

Reposted from Krauser's PUA Adventure

Here’s another textbook same day lay. Learning Daygame is as much a habit as it is a skill so having not done any in London since last summer I was getting rusty. Avoidance weasel was getting vocal

It’s winter. Your libido is supposed to be low. Just wait till it warms up

There’s no pretty girls out in cold weather. Just look at that snow!

What’s the rush? You don’t care about notches anyway. Didn’t you write a post on it?

He’s a difficult chap this weasel, always finding reasons not to approach women. So I overrule him. It’s a new year and I’ve quit my job. All the girls on my rotation live in Central Europe so I’ve got nothing going on in London. I no longer daygame in London for “the lifestyle” and the identity. I don’t go out to improve my skills. That phase is long behind me. Now I go out if I’m in a good mood, or in this case if I have an empty bed. I go out to get a new girl.


Marginally warmer than this

Textbook Tip #1 – Go out. You need to make things happen.

I’m shivering under a thick woolly hat, my nose going numb. Piles of slush still lie against the kerb from last night’s snow. Not alot of people on Oxford Street. I force myself to open the first decent girl I see – a cute unassuming French twenty-year old. She likes me, there’s that flicker in the eye contact, but it’s logistically horrible. She’s about to meet the male “friend” she’s visiting and returns to Paris tomorrow. Either he’s fucking her or trying to. Either way I doubt I’d get her away from him so I take a flaky facebook. Next three sets are just unlucky. Nice girls, big smiles, but all in a hurry and not much into me.

I remind myself daygame is about flipping over stones. Just keep doing decent work, keep approaching and eventually I’ll encounter a girl who is available and into me. Then I’m in like Jimmy Saville. However, I’m over an hour into it and getting cold. There’s precious little to shoot at. I drift towards the Caffe Nero in Trafalgar Square to warm up and read my book. It’s awfully comfortable in those soft leather sofas.

Textbook Tip #2 – If your state is dropping, take a break. Regroup.

The sky darkens outside, the winter nights cutting in. I’m a little restless. I came out to find a girl and here I am sitting reading the autobiography of an Italian bank robber. I remind myself of my reference experiences. Daygame isn’t so tough. I’ve done it plenty. All four girls I spoke to today enjoyed the interaction. All were very pretty. Just keep churning it out. The pitbull is straining at the leash again. So I put my coat on and step outside…. into a blast of icy air… brrrrrrrrrr. A bus passes by and stops five metres up the road, like a siren song singing me to the warmth of my home. I resist. “Walk up to Bond Street at least, then get a bus” I tell myself and trudge out. I only need one scrap of good fortune. One girl.

Textbook Tip #3 – Choose your targets wisely, especially if your state is borderline.

I don’t kid myself that I’m shooting for the fences here. If I see a ten I’ll open just on general principle but I’m not in the mood for a challenge. I’m scanning for my favourite type of girl and as I reach Piccadilly Circus she appears in front of me like an apparition. She checks all the boxes:

•Dark features with coffee skin and long black hair
•Soft feminine dress sense with a cute little woolly hat
•Wandering around aimlessly, eyes wandering to all the old buildings
•Sensible shoes, jeans, warm clothes. Urban hiking gear

Over a year ago I once asked Tom from Daygame to write a list of characteristics identifying the best candidates for an SDL. He calls them “vulnerable”. Operationalise it, I asked. So he wrote a list and this girl checked most of the boxes. She’s clearly a tourist who is visiting London alone and spent the past several hours walking around. She’s cold, her legs ache, and she hasn’t had a real conversation all day. Hello, I’m Nick…..


and I’m a cute Chilean bird

Textbook Tip #4 – If you can’t organically build momentum, you’ll have to force it

It’s a slow start. She’s from Chile, in London for two days before returning to her friend in Paris to continue a Euro tour. She’s not giving off any IOIs except the most important one – making no effort to leave. Five minutes or so on the street and I feel just about enough of a hook to bounce to the idate, a pub 50m up the road. We settle in the upstairs lounge and she has a half pint of bitter (her first time in an English pub). Conversation is fine but twenty minutes in I realise I’m too logical, not drawing her onto the right topics so I shift gear. Classic forced-rapport questions:

If your friends were to describe you in three words, what would they be? (answer: intelligent, friendly, crazy)

How old were your friends in Chile when they first kissed boys? (answer: 11)

How do boys and girls meet in Santiago? Is it a bar culture? (answer: same as most countries)

She’s soon perked up and we’ve got good rapport. I kino test a few times. Oh, those owl earings are nice, let me see. Oh, take your hat off so I can see your hair (and then I fluff her hair up a bit). Oh, show me that ring. All I’m looking for is to touch her and see if she flinches away. Nope, she likes it. Green light.

I’m in full-on leading mode now and take her to a second bar where we sit side-by-side. More plausibly-deniable touching and I just sense the moment. I kiss her.

Her: You’re crazy!

Me: Yes

Her: This is so unexpected

Me: Yes. It’s fast

Her: You could be a dangerous killer

Me: Yes. I am

She can’t get enough of me now. Verbal rapport gives way to physical rapport as I pull her in, stroke her hair, hold her hand. Everything I can do to accelerate the comfort. I’m still not thinking of the SDL because she just doesn’t seem up for it. She’s too shy, giving too few signals. Avoidance weasel tells me to take a Facebook – as if I’ll ever see her again when she lives and works in Chile. Fuck that. I’m gonna push and push. I seed a bar halfway home. My biggest obstacle is distance because I don’t live in the city centre. It’ll be a long bus journey.

Textbook Tip #5 – There’s usually at least one big leap of faith in the escalation

We walk out to the bus stop on Oxford Street. She’s compliant and raising no fuss. As we buy a ticket and board she doesn’t seem too worried about the destination. In for a penny in for a pound – I decide to stay on the bus all the way home and forget the idea of a third pub. Now I shift into verbal bamboozlement mode to occupy her mind. Twenty minutes into the journey she’s finally a little antsy and realises we aren’t headed to this pub.

Her: [looking out the window] Where are we going?

Me: My place

Her: [long pensive look] Ok

We get wine from the corner shop and proceed directly to my room. I take off my shoes and tell her to do likewise then I disappear for five minutes to find wine glasses. It’s good form to leave a girl alone in your room for a while – her hindbrain calms itself with the knowledge she is free to leave. They never do leave. Halfway through the wine I pull her in and go for it. Ten minutes of half-arsed LMR and I’m banging her. Mid-bang I conduct a short interview:

Me: At what moment did you realise I was going to fuck you?

Her: During the bus journey

Me: At what moment did you look at me and think “yeah, I could fuck this guy”?

Her: In the second pub but it wasn’t conscious

Me: You like it that I just picked you up off the street and now I’m fucking you, don’t you

Her: Yes!


She never does this

Textbook Tip #6 – She’ll usually reconcile herself to the prospect of fucking you quite early on, before you’ve made any big moves

After she’s wiped my muck off her breasts and face she gives that dazed and confused look I’ve seen so many times on SDLs. What just happened? I can’t believe I did that! I never do this! She tells me I’m the eighth guy to fuck her and the first non-boyfriend.

Her: It’s so strange. One month before I came here I met a boy. I think I’m in love with him. So this is very unusual to me.

Me: I get what I want

Comments

Friday, December 6, 2013

Calendar Gurl

A beautiful woman with a beautiful family, with a resume to hire for -- with a French maid outfit? We agree to meet and greet during a potential strip tease...uh, modeling session...

As I told Miss Lovely and Sabrina many times, now that I'm no longer married, I'm not looking for a hooker, I'm looking for a friend.


secret diary of a manho

BUT......... The biggest disaster in the history of blind dates -- accidentally sending your X-rated diary to the potential girl of your dreams, or at least the girl of your next First Date....... I did that...... Never mind that it makes little girl's pussies burst into flames.

She was a good sport...took it with a :-) ... I really enjoyed her text banter...75...and one mysterious phone call...

Whores & Hookers: Hi. I sent you a message that was intended for someone else. Pls dont click the links. Sorry! Hate it wen that happens.

Calender Gurl: Ok

W&H: Thnk u. Sorry bout that. I watched ur videos n cried. I will pray for ur family.

CG: Oh thank u. We need all the prayers we can get. Its tough. I get lonely at times but its ok.

W&H: Lonely is not so good. Im up late tonight if you wanna talk.

CG: Ok hun sounds good. Are u married?

W&H: Divorced 1 year how about u?

CG: Never married, single over a year now. Dont have a lot of time for men, but I do get lonely.

(we discuss our date arrangements)

CG: Oh just saw those links u accidentally sent to me. You perv lol. But if that's u in the pic u r very attractive. Im sure u have plenty of women.

W&H: Oh shit lol. The camera lies Im really much more attractive in person ha. Im very lonely or at least a lil lonely. Most of "my" models I just shoot for a few minutes or hours. Ur the hottie with men chasing you wit $$$.

CG: Who's chasing me with money?

W&H: Me next month anyway. How much u earn from modeling?

(discuss $$$ for pro shoots)

CG: Send me a pic of urself

W&H: I took the selfies this year but now my hair is less gray.

CG: I like the gray

W&H: Thanks just trying to keep up with the teenagers lol

CG: Teenagers? Why?

W&H: Models lol over 18

CG: Oh

W&H: My 21 year old friend didn't even notice :-( Maybe thats a good thing?

We discuss Playboy models I hang out with in boudoirs, her potentially posing nude for Playboy, :-)

Now, no contact for several days... Gone dark. One of her hottie BF's back in town?


He did

I apologize to CG -- I just love women...their beauty...their love...their life...and I'm lonely...hard to find someone actually available...without addictions of any kind to anyone...an empty bed (almost) every night...no one to hold and touch and kiss every day...anytime, anyplace...someone to text and sext...someone to dream with, day and night...someone to cry with, as needed...someone to massage, one hour at a time, without an appointment...someone to do dishes and chores with, naked... someone to play in a hot jacuuzi with, with or without suitable attire...someone to tickle, even when it leads to great sex...someone to fuck, anytime, anyplace, sometimes all night long... over and over...someone to give the gift of neverending orgasms...even when it makes them smile and laugh...uncontrollably...and maybe, just maybe...fall in love a lil bit.........I've had it all before, and I know I want it again....

Maybe not now...maybe years from now...

But no, I had to potentially fuck up my potential fuck. What a dick! LOL

Sunday, November 24, 2013

Willie Wonka and the Dick-Flavored Semen Factory

Willie of course is another word for dick.


The Filthiest Joke Ever Hidden in a Children's Movie

One of the most beloved and oft-quoted moments in the ridiculously beloved and oft-quoted film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is the sequence in which the unbalanced candymaker displays his newest invention: lickable wallpaper. As the children and their guardians go to town on the wallpaper, Wonka declares: "Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. The strawberries taste like strawberries! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!"

We laugh, because "snozzberries" is obviously a fanciful, fictional word, and nobody knows what they really were. Except that Roald Dahl, the book's author, knew exactly what snozzberries were: They're dicks. Snozzberries are dicks. Willy Wonka made those kids lick dick-flavored wallpaper.

It turns out the guy who thought a story about an insane recluse casually murdering a group of children had a pretty fucked up sense of humor.

In 1979, Dahl decided to revisit snozzberries in his adult novel My Uncle Oswald. The equally witty and disgusting story revolves around Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, the titular uncle and "greatest fornicator of all time." Along with his sexy accomplice Yasmin Howcomely, he devises a complicated get-rich-quick scheme that involves Howcomely seducing Europe's most famous men and then selling used condoms full of their spent semen to women wishing to birth famous progeny. Please take some time to remind yourself that this book was written by one of the world's most beloved children's authors.

The term "snozzberry" comes up when Yasmin Howcomely recounts her experience with George Bernard Shaw:

"How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him?"

"There's only one way when they get violent," Yasmin said. "I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold still."

"Ow."

"Very effective."

"I'll bet it is."

"You can lead them around anywhere you want like that."

"I'm sure."

"It's like putting a twitch on a horse."

Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, 15 years before My Uncle Oswald revealed that the wallpaper was made to taste like the head of a penis. In the strictest sense of the term, we're pretty sure this makes Willy Wonka a pedophile. And honestly, we're not that surprised.

W&H 1700 page views per day

Not too bad since google censors all blogs from its web search engine.

Most blogs only appear in google's hidden blog search engine.

Woohoo!

Sunday, October 27, 2013

The Hooker Diaries : Episode 2 : Brokeback Mountin

EXCLUSIVE TO W&H

So I used to be a call girl.

A life of excitement, new people, and fear. It was a means to support addiction. A few tales of stored memories were rather amusing I must say.

They call me to a hotel in the Big City.

I meet and greet two Hasidic Jews -- curls, suits, yamaka.


Hasidics break all the rules

Although part-jewish, my last experience with Jews was dropping pennies on heads at the mall.

They took their clothing off.

I stayed in bra and panties.

They didn't fuck through a sheet.

I was to lay aside them while they touched my leg.

They proceeded to kiss and I witnessed homosexual intercourse for the first time -- spooning style.

After 40 minutes, his ass must've hurt!

$200 each per hour = $400. I kept $250.

Many desires out there.

Until next time...

from, a REAL LIFE reformed callgirl.....model/dancer/addict and so much more...

Miss Lovely

Miss Lovely is a 21-year-old retired escort, stripper, dancer, actress, porn star and nude model who earned over $300,000 before age 21, blowing almost all of her earnings on dope, except for two small bags of clothes. She tells all to Whores & Hookers...

The Hooker Diaries : Episode 1 : The Lawyer


Rabbis: Pry These Foreskins From Our Cold, Dead Lips

The Gothamist

A possible big soda ban isn't the only hot topic being discussed by the city's board of health this week. Before today's main course of sugary drinks the DOH had a nice, bloody appetizer yesterday: "metzitzah b’peh," or the practice of sucking the blood from a just snipped foreskin in traditional Jewish circumcisions (in theory to speed healing). Holocaust survivors, herpes and mohels, oh my!

The dangers of mohels sucking baby penis has been much in the news lately—the CDC last month announced that at least 11 NYC boys have been infected with herpes through the practice in the past decade—and yesterday's meeting was reportedly not lacking in opinions. The city is considering requiring parents to sign a written consent form that indicates they understand the risks of the ritual, and some rabbis don't like that.

"I myself have performed 25,000 circumcisions, and, thank God, we have not had one single incident," Rabbi A. Romi Cohn, a mohel and Holocaust surviver representing the American Board of Ritual Circumcision, said yesterday. "Our guidelines are, I think, much stricter than the medical profession." But is it? The blog Failed Messiah makes an argument that it really isn't.

Mohels at the hearing argued that a consent form would infringe on their religious freedoms, but city health officials aren't biting. "The concept of informed consent puts more of the decision-making power and more of the information in the hands of the parents," Susan Blank, the assistant commissioner of the STD Control Program at the city’s Department of Health and Mental Hygiene, pointed out yesterday.

The DOH says it should have a decision on the matter by September, and if the law comes down in favor of snip-n-suck consent forms, well, the rabbis are ready for a fight: "If we feel that our religious freedom is being restricted, we have the right to challenge it in court … we are ready, if needed, to challenge this," Rabbi Levi Heber, the director of the International Bris Association, said.

Israel's Uriel Yekutiel and Eliad Cohen gay sex nude naked fuck suck sodomy faggot homosexual pedophile pedophilia

Monday, October 14, 2013

Thrill Kill Sex Cult


Would you want to be gagged and bound while repeatedly raped under threat of death? I didn't think so. Do you think that might cause PTSD or MPD?

"I had to be using or I'd kill all my customers......."

My 20-year-old ATF UTR preggie escort porn star had a little 1-time "lapse" not relapse. As my condition before allowing such a risky fuckup, she promised me to reveal more of her early childhood rape. She made me promise to not reveal the contents of that confession. The following account hopefully meets that contract, only revealing what has already been revealed.

This early rape was the only event I know of that she had refused to discuss. It appears to be an event so traumatic that it now affects her every day of her life, and is the main reason for abusing opiates, to keep her demons locked safely away. It probably was a hard push into the nude modeling, stripping, escort and lesbian porn business.

I agreed reluctantly to this lapse, with potentially severe consequences for keeping her daughter-to-be. The apparently switching of personalities is quite shocking to behold, jonesing for release.

She does the deed. After a few minutes, a sex kitten appears, only this time it's a very sad one. Very childlike. More of an abandoned kitten on death row in an animal shelter. There is no happy high this time. She begins...

All I can say, is that it's a textbook example from the book HOW TO USE TRAUMA-BASED MIND CONTROL TO CREATE A SEXSLAVE. Yes, she has the obligatory butterfly tattoo.

As Pimpin Ken observed, most of these girls are severely traumatized sexually from childhood, and they work as hoes to compensate, often as "revenge".

The childhood "therapy" she received after the rape only triggered the PTSD over and over again, a common complaint from such survivors.

What's perhaps most interesting and potentially useful is what led her to finally reveal the assaults and end the abuse. She physically attempted to stop a family argument and was injured in the process. But this empowerment by standing up for herself was life-changing. Soon she revealed the crimes and the crimes stopped...for a while, at least with the original perp.

The next day she's severely hungover. And the next. She feels the pain she knows will soon be over, forever. And she's glad.

Now that she's not using or abusing, the sex kitten is GONE, nowhere to be found. Celebate, literally, with all her men who stuck by her these days. It's much more than her legitimate fear of losing her underweight baby, it's a psychological need after surviving detox clean and sober, while waiting weeks or months to get approved for the psych meds and counseling she desperately needs.

Her celebacy may become permanent -- especially towards me? There is no touching, hugging, kissing, sex talk or sleepovers without the aid of chemicals, and chemicals are no longer allowed, by her or by me. We do spend a lot of time in the Friend Zone.

"I had to be using or I'd kill all my customers......."

The child survivor of rape making an appearance? Some of those customers did rape her. Some were just sick perverts. Some tried to kill her.

Or is she merely turning into an ordinary girl, raising an ordinary family, working an ordinary job, going back to ordinary school, DATING with all the necessary drama including a relatively sexless existance?

Do I want drama, mindgames and mindfucks?

Is the real sex kitten I've grown to love and fuck GONE forever, at least for me? At least when clean and sober?

Do I want to settle for an ordinary American girl, in-love only with herself?

Or do I want a mind-controlled sexslave?

"I had to be using or I'd kill all my customers......."

All...as in ME? A Freudian Slip? A warning?

"Do you want to kill me?"

"No, I only have four friends from the business, including you, who know about me and my name."

"How many total customers?"

"Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm."

"More than 1,000?"

"No. Less than that."

"500?"

"Nope."

"100?"

"Yeah that's more like it."

"That's not very many, but then you were UTR and not advertising. You must've had a lot of repeat business. You got a lot from me."

Shrugs her pretty bare shoulders.

"Anyone who don't know how many they've fucked is probably a ho."

She smiles.

"I've problably fucked at least 30. I don't remember many names or faces, so that makes me a manho."

Bigger smile.

"So you're friends with about 4% of your customers. (That's about the same percentage as customers who raped or tried to kill you I didn't say.)"

We spent the rest of the day running errands with her making me money (for a change), and we enjoyed an all-you-can-pretend-to-eat buffet.

Then she cooked her microwave oven. Apparently it don't work as a timer with no food in it for 10 minutes. BF panicked then remembered his family had a free one. I insisted we drive over and get it, rather than spend the next few days in a panic of verbal assaults (NA training kicked in). So that's how this deadbeat dad got to see his abandoned kids in a short but happy reunion. Looks like it'll be a regular event now that they're clean and sober, getting congrats from friends and family. Let the healing begin.

Then I fucked it up making a comment about who's the babydaddy? Bombed da house.

THE STARE...

BF paused then replied it better be his.

"I know it's not mine. haha"

THE STARE...not as cute this time.

Oh fuck! Are they supposed to be in the Monogamous Zone -- if only in their dreams? Now she really does want to kill me!


The 8 Most Infamous Killer Prostitutes of All Time

1. Fake Hookers Kill Mexican Wrestling Midgets

First of all, one of the most surprising things about this entire debacle is the fact that every single headline that covered it read "Mexican Midget Wrestlers". "Midget."

Anyway, so the story goes that two twin wrestlers from the wonderful world of 'Lucha Mini' Mexican little-person wrestling were somehow seduced by two, normal-sized, women in July of 2009.

The women were part of an organized crime gang who often pose as prostitutes to gather a little attention. It worked. Sometime during the night, the women spiked the twins' drinks, as the crime syndicate usually does. Now, the women know to give men a certain dosage to knock them out long enough to be robbed, so they stuck by what they knew and gave the twins the normal-sized dosage. It was no small mistake, though, as these women (who had apparently never had any pets that needed any medicine) ended up accidentally poisoning the two Luchi Mini wrestlers because the dosage of drugs they fed them was too high for their small bodies to take.

Unknowingly, the two fake prostitutes robbed the men of their belongings while they were slowly dying.

Normally, this drug would knock a man out and he would re-awaken a few hours later.

Click here for the full news story (and an example of Fox News using the word "Midget" in a freaking news headline.)

Embedded here is just a taste of the wonderful world of Mexican "Midget" Wrestling.

2. Prostitute/Porn Star Kills Tattoo Artist At Sex Party

Amanda Logue was a porn star who owned a lingerie shop and occasionally dabbled in prostitution, much like some women do with pottery or knitting.

She and her boyfriend, Jason Andrews, had a gathered a sizable Internet and Twitter following and were making money off of her body. Soon after, she was hired by a tattoo artist to be the prostitute for a Requiem For a Dream style sex party. Before the event, Andrews, the boyfriend, wrote on Twitter that they were "killing time waiting for a party to find us." Notice the coincidental word choice.

Records showed the two exchanged the following text messages:

Andrews: "I'm so glad you're really commited (sic) to this take. Keep eyes for a knife, etc (sic) for me!"

Logue: "I'm (expletive) exited (sic) … I want to (have sex) after we kill hum (sic)."

Andrews: "You just get him relaxed and face down … Take. Your. Time."

The next day, Logue Twittered that her and Andrews were lying around the couch, eating popcorn and watching movies. As they did that, their victim was found lying on the bed, blood splattered on the walls and on the ceiling fan, pounded to death by a sledge hammer with $6,000 and all his credit cards missing. Logue and Andrews would be arrested weeks later.

3. So Popular With Politicians She Was Pardoned

Bridget Fury, also known as Delia Swift, started out her criminal career in the 1850s with manslaughter and then followed that by escaping her jail cell in Ohio, which (at the time) couldn't have been more difficult than beckoning a dog that happened to have the keys in its mouth.

She then fled to New Orleans, a shady place full of rough-house gangs and loose law. No, really. This happened and this is a real person.

Imagine Bourbon Street gone completely wild. At the time, it was so government-free that when Ohio tried to extradite her, all she had to do to avoid extradition was stay in New Orleans and regular in their crazy brothels.

Known as "The Fury" because of her fiery red hair, she was known for running around and stabbing countless men, probably in a completely inebriated, insane state of self-hatred, STDs and shanty-song fatigue. When finally convicted of one murder by the completely hopeless police, she was fittingly sent to the penitentiary.

BUT the higher politicians liked her, and the services she so masterfully provided, so much that she was pardoned after a year and was back out on the streets soon after, banging and stabbing her way through the South.

Click here for the historical account and more photo-accurate depictions of history like the one above

4. Killed The Man Who Had An Iron Ball For A Hand

Along with Bridget Fury above, Mary Jane 'Bricktop' Jackson also legendarily roamed the streets of seedy New Orleans and in eight years killed four men. Along with a career in the dance-houses in New Orleans, she was reported to have a favorite knife she designed herself, "it had a heavy five-inch blade at each end, with a center grip handsomely mounted in German silver". Needless to say, she was a complete psychopath, who fittingly had an also-murderous-prostitute roommate, which only could have been the worst possible influence.

Anyway, so back to her knife: with her weapon, she could cut and slash in any direction "without changing the position of her hand," according to her. It's safe to assume that many men fell to her blade before the murder that inspired her disappearance.

In 1857, she moved into a house with Bridget Fury after having been banned from the dance-houses and became a prostitute out of necessity.

In 1861, she "brutalized" John Miller, a former boxer who, get this, lost his left arm in a fight and fastened AN IRON BALL AND CHAIN TO THE STUMP. He made his arm into a mace. You know that REAL men have died out once we live in a time where it doesn't seem reasonable/necessary to attach a medieval weapon to where one of your most important limbs used to be. Oh, the good old days.

As recorded in this book , the way everything got started was that Miller (the guy with the Bond-villain arm) threatened Bricktop (the girl with the unsexiest prostitute name ever) with a whip and said she needed to be lashed (while probably wasted out of his mind, or just bored from busting in too many heads with his awesome cannonball-arm).

Bricktop stepped forward, snatched the whip defensively and beat him. He attacked with his iron ball, charging at her and she was able to actually take the ball and use it to drag him down to the floor. As a last resort, he tried to stab her, but she pushed him up against the wall and furiously knifed the beejesus out of him using her pride and joy.

She was sent to prison, released a year later and never heard from again.

Click here for the pages detailing the fight.

5. The House of Blood Murders

Edith McAlinden was a drifting homeless woman and prostitute who, in 2004, was released from a nine month stint in jail for a serious assault. She went to her boyfriend's flat after a drinking match (because, for some reason, she lived in the old West) and killed him by stabbing him in the thigh.

There were two witnesses in the apartment at the time, so she called up her son and his friend to help her "take care" of them. The son and his friend, naturally, brought what everyone in their position would to "take care" of people: an arsenal of weapons including an axe, a baseball bat, golf clubs, a hammer, boiling water (which, come to think of it, must have been like cooled soup by the time they used it), knives, metal files, a belt for whackin' and pieces of wood (you know, just in case.)

When the police found them hours later, McAlinden was clutching to her boyfriend's body screaming at him to wake up, obviously completely out of her mind; clearly not realizing that a limp body in a flat where (according to police reports) "there was so much blood in the flat that it was impossible to be precise about the details of the violence" meant that the guy was dead.

Police described the scene as "the most chilling I have every visited".

Click here for full news story

6. First Female Serial Killer (From That Charlize Theron Movie)

Infamous for killing seven men while working as a prostitute, Aileen Wuornos's story was so affecting they even made a movie about her (Which was Monster, famous for Charlize Theron's Oscar winning portrayal of Wuornos and making Charlize Theron look somehow unattractive).

Following a history of childhood abuse, sexual assault, and a pregnancy at 14, she first got into the prostitution thing at 15 to support herself, because who wants to flip burgers or pump gas when you could flip mattresses and pump... moving on....

She would continually be arrested for assault and she would spend time in jail for armed robbery throughout her life. The string of crimes along with her continuing work as a prostitute made something inside of her snap, eventually, and in 1989 she went on a spree of a series of murders.

Six of the bodies were found abandoned in the woods or in their owners' cars, showing that work ethic wasn't her strong suit. They bodies had been shot multiple times. The 7th body was never found.

Wuornos was apprehended in 1991. She claimed the murders were in self-defense, but she was convicted and received a death sentence, because that's what happened in those days. Up to her execution, there was much debate about whether she was mentally sane or not and the media did a lot of questioning of Wuornos's motives in the killings. Was it self-defense or was Wuornos holding in so much anger and pain, she took it out on someone she felt was threatening her and denied it to herself later on?

Either way, her life experiences fully convinced her she wanted to die and that if she was released, she would kill again, no question. She was executed in 2002. I, for one, am waiting for the fake prostitute Mexican midget wrestling film to come out/be written. They could do Hobbit CGI on Luis Guzman and a fat-suited John Leguizamo! What do you mean "insensitive"?

7. College Student Murders Massage Parlor Client

Barbara Hoffman was a Madison, Wisconsin college student with a eyes almost as bright as her f*ture, who was set to graduate in the 1970's. So it was actually quite shocking when she was discovered to have been moonlighting at a "massage parlor". How was she discovered? Well, just to show that living a double life was not her strong suit, she murdered one of her clients, who was then found beaten in the head outside her apartment.

Her boyfriend reported her to the police and was made a key witness during the investigation, which wasn't exactly rocket science since one of the other factors incriminating her was the fact that the dead client had made her the beneficiary of his life insurance policy and co-owner of his home in the time of his death (the best possible move when dealing with law-breaking poor people.)

Her boyfriend, whom she actually met at that same "massage parlor", was found dead in a bathtub, poisoned from cyanide.

The coroner then examined the organs of the first death and found cyanide levels 37 times the lethal dose, because better safe than sorry. The head injuries were estimated to be the results of intense convulsions.

Hoffman went to trial and was found guilty of murder because she was a horrible, horrible criminal who had no idea how to hide her actions. She has been incarcerated ever since and will not comment on her crimes, most likely because, along with ruining her entire life, they're pretty freakin' embarrassing.

Click here for full news story.

8. So Legendary A Band Was Named After Her

This prostitute was so legendary that the Southern Rock band Molly Hatchet named themselves after her and her legend.

According to legend, in the 17th century, Molly Hatchet would sell her body exclusively to wealthy men. Following coitus (because you should be reading this in the voice of someone who smokes a pipe and hangs out in velvet robes around fireplaces), she would mutilate and decapitate all her clients with a hatchet. If science had been ANY better back then, she would have been called the Praying Mantis. Or Molly the Mantis. Big missed opportunity there.

But, because it made the most sense at the time, they named her Molly Hatchet.

Her actions became elements of common folklore, enough for the rock band Molly Hatchet to take notice and christen themselves with her name, and enough for differing legends of her to exist all over the U.S.