Why do men cheat? To survive.
10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating, Annotated Edition
Reposted from Prowling with Kat, annotations by W&H
Ok, I know that your first reaction to this is going to be that it's not your fault if he cheats, and you are right, of course. Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Not only that, but there are some guys who are going to cheat no matter what you do just because they are addicted to the newness of fresh pussy (If my use of the word "pussy" just offended you, get over it. You need to toughen up if you are going to compete with the prowling women out there, ok?). As I was saying, even though you are not responsible for his choices, there are some things you can do to minimize the chances that your man will stray.
Yes, sex addiction is real. But most men will be loyal -- it's a hellova lot less work, less risk, less expensive, less hassle, and usually better sex. It usually takes alot of bullshite for a guy to go hunting new pussy. In PUA Speak a Tester is a whore or hooker, an otherwise ordinary person who got abused sexually (often in childhood) or abandoned by a parent or lover, who seeks comfort and security by diversifying their portfolio with perhaps 100s of lovers, as a "legitimate" strategy to prevent going insane. PUA Speak defines Investor as a person seeking a monogamous LTR, who once they finally "fix" their lover and get what they want, they ditch them as fast as they can. Advantages and disadvantages to both...
I know what I'm talking about. I have been "the other woman" with more than a few "happily married" men. I've listened to countless stories about their wives and their marriages and how they would like them to be different. The first thing I want to tell you is that, almost without exception, they really do love you and they really do want their marriages to work. But some things are missing.
Yes. Beware a sexless, loveless, emotionless relationship, almost always derailed by a woman's addictions to meds, drugs, alcohol, food, work, hobbies, kids. If you want to be addicted to something, let it be your man's dick, exercise, nutrition, the study of sex, and the feminine arts.
Here are some tips to help you address those things before your man steps out of the marriage to find them:
Pay attention ladies. Kat knows what she's talking about.
1. Don't underestimate the importance of a sexual relationship to a man. Women tend to minimize the importance of sex and write it off as a male perversion, but it's not. Wanting sex regularly, particularly with the woman they love, is completely normal - biologically and emotionally. Cutting it off has all sorts of ramifications, not the least of which is that they will often feel unwanted and like they are not fully appreciated as a man. It's a big deal. Please stop acting like it's not. We could debate all day about whether other things in a relationship are or should be more important, but that doesn't matter. The fact remains that your husband needs a satisfying sexual relationship with you to be truly happy in the marriage. It's not just a want, but a need.
It's a fundamental need for human-to-human contact, just like a newborn baby requires human contact from its mother or it quickly goes insane. Or like food, water and air.
2. Make your husband feel like sex with him is important to you, too. The one thing I have heard from every single married man I've ever been with is what a turn on it is to be with a woman who wants to have sex, and who wants to have sex with him. They feel like you don't want them anymore and your half-hearted attempts to give in to them as you openly act like you just want it over with as soon as possible are hurtful to some and downright offensive to others. Your husband's sexual satisfaction is not just about orgasm. He needs to feel that you want to have sex with him and that you enjoy it.
Yes, very important. Most men drop the ball here by failing to even try to satisfy their woman. Many lack the skillset to make it happen even if they tried. In the case of hookers, X callgirl Miss Lovely said 90% of her customers didn't make any attempt to give their fuckbuddy an orgasm, with permanent damage to the hookers. Probably similar stats for married women, since most customers of hookers are married. Me nalso need to care about appearance, fitness and hygiene, which not only makes their lady happier, it helps the man's confidence and performance. SHAVE, you know where.
3. Get help to get over your "issues." Many men say that their wife has just lost interest in sex and that there appears to be nothing that either spouse can do about that. That is simply not true. If you have lost interest in sex, please go to your doctor and tell him that you have lost interest and ask for help. There are many biological conditions that might be interfering with your libido. Work with your doctor to find any problem, if there is one, and treat it. After that, if you still have no desire, seek counseling.
Yes. Plus there are many natural hormone replacements besides dangerous meds. While receiving counseling and group therapy for men of raped women at a sexual assault crisis center, we watched a video of a woman bragging how she intentionally made herself ugly just to keep her husband from wanting sex...she had a creepy smile on her face when she said it... She was raped in childhood not by her husband. I have no idea if this woman got cured, but I doubt it. PUA experts say only 5% of the female population is fuckable and want to be fucked...these are horrible odds for the average man trying to get laid, even in a relationship or marriage. Ladees, if you find yourself turning into a bull dyke with increasing age, get hormone replacement therapy STAT. Manhands prevent a lady from even giving a handjob, so wear gloves when working, or get HRT.
4. Learn to give (and like) oral sex. Men like oral sex. I often hear them say that their wives won't do it or that their wives don't do it well. If I told you that learning to give good head might be the difference between losing or keeping your husband, would you do it? Good girl. So, educate yourself. When I was newly married, I knew my husband loved to receive oral satisfaction, but I also felt very inadequate because I knew I didn't know what I was doing. One day, I sat him down and I told him how I was feeling. I told him that I wanted to learn how to do it, and I asked him if he would teach me what he likes and what he doesn't. And I also asked him to be patient with me. Before I was even done saying that, his pants were off and his cock was hard, and he was ready to give me my first lesson. He talked me through it. I tried different things. He gave me immediate feedback (kind words, moans, and cum) when I did it well. I practiced....a lot, because it was important to me to please him. I also looked at some books and videos and tried to learn even more. I really got into it and learned to like it (a lot), and my husband was turned on by the fact that I wanted to learn.
Yes. My X wife was raped at knifepoint by a coworker on Valentines Day (trial and death threats years before we met), so she was forever turned off to giving head, or getting flowers on Valentines Day. She refused all counseling. When I met Miss Lovely after my divorce, she taught me what I was missing. It was amazing! Even when giving a handjob with a smile, she loved licking my cum. It's an acceptance thing... "I accept you and love you as a man and human being." This got me more interested in giving oral to her, up to 1.5 hours oral per date, up to 3 hours oral per week (her meds delayed or blocked orgasm, off meds she'd cum in 5 minutes). Before I could do this, I had to learn to accept her as a human being and a woman, with her history of 50 customers and 5 or more regulars including BF. If I can suck it up, so can you. Giving her oral to get warmed up made the fucking 10 times hotter, because she was cumming constantly and getting into it 10 times more. And ladees, learn how to give a GREAT handjob, very handy while driving as well! A happy ending with 45-minute nude massage is worth at least $150 on the open market, and is priceless for maintaining a steady relationship. Go to an AMP and watch the professionals give your man a table shower and bodyrub with happy ending, if you really want to be a sexpert. Yes, you can get a massage and table shower too... SHAVE, you know where.
5. Speak up, and teach your husband what turns you on. Trust me, your pleasure is a big turn on for your husband. If he's just missing the mark, so to speak, in helping you come to orgasm, show him what to do. Talk him through it. He will get the message that you really want pleasure, which he will love, and he'll want to give it to you. For a man, a huge part of feeling sexually powerful is knowing that he can please a woman. I've been with men who who were just deliriously excited that they could make me come because they thought they had lost the ability to bring a woman pleasure and my orgasm showed them that wasn't true. Their wives' lack of interest had actually convinced these men that there was something wrong with them. They had lost confidence, and they went to another woman to get it back. Let your husband please you. Show him how. If you don't know how, get professional help (see #3, above).
Yes. Men should ask what turns her on, then get lessons. That's when I discovered how important oral is to a woman, especially one who fucks lots of men who mostly refuse to take care of her needs. My Good Girls however, hated oral, but then they usually hated having sex, too, unless the planets were in alignment on the summer solstice. This works both ways. I had to teach a professional, Miss Lovely, how to give a proper handjob, hitting the man-clit with each stroke. When I explained it that way, she understood instantly. Amazing how many women, even professionals, can't give a proper handjob, so I have to teach them. And talking during sex can be extremely hot... Selfie pics and porn vids are great during sex as well, and are excellent time-wasters for those long hours in-between liasons, much more satisfying than internet porn.
6. Have more sex. Interestingly, the more you have sex, the more you'll want sex. It stimulates the pleasure center of your brain and gets your hormones and other juices flowing. Sometimes the best way to shake your libido awake is just to start having sex.
Yes. YMMV but I need sex at least 3 times a week to feel normal and human and sane and loved, but sometimes I enjoyed an all-nighter with Miss Lovely, fucking until 6 am, then going to work at 9. I actually performed better on the job under this kind of pressure and release, but I did require DHEA to keep my testosterone up, and high-dose extended release niacin for energy (500mg).
7. Try something new. Buy your husband a sex toy to try out on you. Get an instructional sex book or DVD and try new positions together. You can never be "fresh pussy" for your husband like you were when you were first married, but you can do the next best thing - you can keep it as fresh as possible by not falling into a routine of doing the same thing every time. You may think that your husband should take the lead on this if it matters to him, but often your husband won't try something new because he's afraid he'll offend you and then he won't get any sex at all (and that is something most men want to avoid at all costs). If you bring up new things to try, he'll know that you understand how important the sexual relationship is to him and you'll keep him wondering what fun thing you'll come up with next. And that will keep him at home with you.
Yes. Sex toys get women in the mood almost as good as a good oral fucking. Best I've found is the little Magic Bullet, with a single AAA battery, powerful, easy to hold, doesn't get heavy, runs forever, no unsightly power cord, can carry in your pocket for covert rondeveus. Miss Lovely complained that 80% of her customers wanted to fuck her in the ass, which she did once enjoy with her first BF as a young teenager, but even that was on opiates, and now she hates him. So now, she hates anal sex like she's a mangina, and would lie to bait-and-switch her 50 customers, then find an excuse to not do it once they've paid their money. This resulted in a few anal rapes and robberies, to go with her near-murders by nonconsentual choking. So guys, don't be fags or lunatics or serial killers, it's probably a turn off to your significant others, or might kill them. Instead, get counseling for your gayness and daddy issues, or go kill yourselves. Please, so you quit ruining it for the rest of us.
8. Remember that sex starts outside the bedroom. I know. Men are really bad about this. I can't tell you how many times over the last 20+ years my husband has been short with me or cranky and then wanted sex when we went to bed. It's like there's a total disconnect between the brain and the cock. Still, if you want your husband to stay sexually interested in you, you need to give him something to be interested in. Send him sweet (and maybe even dirty) little text messages and notes ("Watching you come out of the shower this morning got me wet, too. Can't wait 'til tonight." "I love you. Can't wait to feel your arms around me again."). Get as naughty as you want. This is your husband, for goodness' sake! Don't be shy. Just remember, if your husband is having an affair, he's going to be getting even naughtier little messages than the examples I gave you, and he'll love them and they will make him rush to her to get some of the real thing. Don't you want him thinking about you and rushing home to you instead?
Yes, thank you Kat, excellent tips. A gentle massage fixes everything. So does laughing. Girly Talk can defuse any argument. I really enjoy my nudie selfie sexts from my hooker friends, who say the most amazing things in person. Fuck I love fucking them! Wish I could find a GF who understands how important that stuff is, and how fun it is. My X wife however, refused to even get a cellphone, even when I gave her one prepaid.
9. Be nice to your husband. This is really part of #8, but I wanted to list it separately because it's very important. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but some of you are just bitches to your men. You henpeck them and try to control them constantly, you speak to them very harshly and rudely, and you belittle their attempts at affection. Why are you surprised when they find escape in the arms of a woman who speaks softly and gently to them and treats them nicely? Now, this doesn't apply to all of you because I often hear from men that they love everything about their wives except their sex lives, but I also hear from others that they are tired of being treated like a meal ticket and a home repair man. When a marriage is going through a rough spell, it can be hard to remember the basic courtesies of companionship, but please make an effort. Say "please" and "thank you." Follow the basic rule you learned from your mom - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" - and follow the Golden Rule.
Yes. It helps for men and women to do chores together, even if one is just supervising, especially if the supervisor is so fucking cute as Miss Lovely barking orders in her patented Little Girly Girl voice (EVERY woman should learn girly speak in their skillset). I enjoyed doing dishes as much as she hated doing them. It would've been even more fun had she been in something extra sexy, or nothing at all, as she often liked to wear around my house. Fucking before or after, or during, makes chores a LOT more pleasant, as in the case with Miss Lovely. Women vastly underestimate their powers of persuasion with this technique.
10. Don't give up. It's hard to change behavior and learn new skills and habits, even if you really want to. Please don't give up. The cost will be a great one if you quit, but the payoff if you persevere will be wonderful. Imagine your husband doting on you like he did when you were first married. Wouldn't you love to be fully satisfied in the bedroom? You can be, and so can he. No, it's not as easy as it was when you were new together, but that doesn't mean that it can't be even better if you make a good effort. Isn't he worth it?
You're never too old till you die. Once over the hill you just pick up speed. Quit making excuses and just do it!
On a Final Note, so many couples fall appart under financial pressures, and their sex lives are first to go. But sex is FREE. When the bills are overdue or you can't afford that special piece of crap made in commie china you've been lusting for, there's nothing like an orgasm to put things in perspective. The happiest people I've ever seen are usually the "poorest", and the most miserable are usually the "richest". God made us to fuck, who are you to argue with The Creator? Besides, preggie sex can be the best sex of your life, and even childbirth can be the best sex of your life! lol