Thursday, May 15, 2014
Thursday, April 24, 2014
|CNN photo of strippers in really cool nursing home|
CNN -- Somebody at a New York nursing home apparently thought it would be a great idea to bring in a young hard body for the elderly residents to watch dance.
Monday, April 21, 2014
Reposted from Sister Sister
If there’s one thing you all should have learned by now it’s that there is no limits to what people will or will not do. You’ve just got to find the right button and give it a little push, some harder than others. Drunken bar sluts have the easiest buttons of all. Hell a slight graze against their button and the panties will fall like a one legged man jumping rope. I’ve proven this theory time and time again in my countless nights of pouring shots and drinks into my would be victims. When it comes right down to it sluts go to bars the same reason Christians go to church, they just want to feel loved. They don’t give a fuck that it will only be for probably one night or in some cases could turn into a few years. They want it, hell some of them actually need it to feel better about themselves or to know that for just one night somebody wants them. It doesn’t matter that more often than not they will never get a phone call after that night or that no friend request will be sent on Facebook or Twitter. So this all leads up to the night I’m going to tell you about. Remember SLUTS HAVE NO CONSCIOUS OR MORALS!!!
Me and a group of dudes caught the train to downtown Chicago one Friday afternoon after we were done with school. We catch a cab to a hotel and all check into our own rooms because we had a bet on who could pull the most ass for the weekend. Everybody gets dressed and we all meet downstairs in the hotel bar for a few shots before we head out on Operation Hoedown. We get to talking with the bartender and ask him where all the sluts hang out on this side of town and he tells us about a few places to try. We pound a few more shots of Cuervo and start to head out for the night. Our plan was we could all split up or do whatever it would take to conquer bitches but we had to stay in at least teams of two. We didn’t do that for any kind of safety reasons we did it because somebody had to verify the number was true and with the amount of money we had on the line someone was bound to try and cheat. We start to head out and I go to pay my tab when the bartender tells me that he’s heard us talking about our mission. He goes on to tell me that the very bar I am standing in will be crawling with ass around eleven that night when all the cougars come out to play. Folks this is the kind of knowledge you can gain when you tip a bartender well. Let that be a fucking lesson. Bartenders are usually your best source for anything you want to know when you’re in an unfamiliar city. I had one buddy that was always a damn good wing man and we always worked well together. No cock blocking and both of us were willing to fuck a fatty if it meant the other one got some prime. I call McNasty over and tell him that we are going to leave like everyone else and just go around the block and double back. The bartender had already been tipped well so we are guaranteed good drinks the rest of the night and the place will be crawling with ass later. He agrees so we set off with the rest of the boys. We get to the end of the block and the others for some reason think we will have better odds if we stick together. Me an McNasty tell them we are going to go on a recon mission at another bar and if it looks promising we will give them a call. They agree and we go our separate ways. Me and Nasty stop in a little Irish pub and grab a drink just to give those guys time to get a little farther away from our killing grounds. The last thing we needed was for one of them to have to come back to the hotel and see us in the bar. About an hour later we head back and sure as hell there was already a few soccer moms starting to filter into the place. We cop a squat at the bar and start to survey the scene. There’s the typical bar whores mixed with the chicks who are having “a much needed girls night out”. Yeah we all know what that means. They need a break from their depressing ass lives of kids and minivans to feel young and slutty again.
We’re drinking and bullshitting with a few chicks when my boy does the impossible. He tells the girl he’s talking to what our plan is and that he wants her to be the first one. I’m expecting him to either get a drink poured on him or slapped, I was wrong. She grabs his hand and tells him to take her to his room. Well played you motherfucker. Now I’m sitting at the bar with that girls three friends and they are all standing around looking confused. I’m just the right amount of drunk and not giving a fuck so I look at the two hottest ones left and tell them I’m not going to be outdone by my boy so all three of us need to go to my room. They didn’t even get to answer before the third one says what about me. She may as well have had loves to fuck tattoo’d on her forehead at that point. Not wanting to give her the upper hand I calmly looked at her and said what about you? She tells us that she’s not staying in the bar alone while the three of us go upstairs to my room. I told her that if she buys the next two rounds of drinks she can go too. One of the hotter ones gets all offended that I wouldn’t include the slightly cute one in the party so she says I can go fuck myself and she will stay in the bar with her friend. I laughed and looked at the slightly cute one and told her she had just been moved to the starting line up. Off me and two of them go and leave the bitch with the attitude sitting in the bar all alone. We go by Nasty’s room just so he can verify what I’m up to and then proceed to my room. I’m feeling pretty good at the moment so I decide to make second string feel special and tell her she’s first. She tells me we will have to go to the shower because she is having lady problems. WHAT THE FUCK? Why would you volunteer to play the game knowing your ass was injured? I politely tell her that’s not going to happen and she can wait downstairs with the other friend while me and the last hope chick take care of business. Not a fucking chance. The third bitch has enough of how I’m talking to her friends so she tells me to go fuck myself too. Great. I just went from a potential three run lead to striking the fuck out with the bases loaded. Now I’m sitting here thinking do I tell my boy or do I not. He’s already had proof that I went to my room with two chicks so I could be an asshole and let him keep thinking that. I decide that there is too much money on the line to give up points so I am going to let him keep thinking it. WRONG. I walk out into the hall and see the two sluts standing at his door telling him the whole damn story. I just smile and walk over and listen as they get to the part about her having issues. This motherfucker does what I should have done and says he has no problem with it and they are welcome to come jump in the shower with him and the first chick. Son of a bitch. My boy just went up three to nothing. I tuck my tail and take the elevator ride of shame back down to the lobby and the bar. I get there and attitude bitch is sitting there looking confused as hell about where her friends are. I tell her the story and she laughs and buys me a drink. We sit there chatting for a bit when I man the fuck up and try again. No dice. She informs me that had I not been a dick to her friend I could have had all three. Lesson learned I guess. McNasty comes strolling back into the bar about an hour later with his three run lead laughing his ass off as he tells me what I’ve missed. Thanks buddy, thanks a fucking lot. We sit there and hang out with these chicks for a bit more before we start to wonder around from one group of chicks to the next. We finally end up hanging out with a bachelorette party. They have the standard bullshit checklist of slut dares to finish before they can consider their night a success. We help them out with a few of their items and tell them we are in a mission ourselves. They are drunk enough to think they can help us so we are fucking golden. I’m sitting between two girls that happen to be sisters. One is pretty cute and the other is obviously the one who got to the dinner table first. I’m focusing on the skinny one and talking shit but occasionally will turn and talk to hefty. Skinny is eating out of the palm of my hand at this point. The next thing I know she takes my hand and slides it under her skirt to show me she’s not wearing underpants of any kind. Fuck yes!!! If there’s one thing I should learn to do it would be to remember the chicks name I’m talking to when I’m drinking. I have a habit of using words like cutie or some other bullshit title when I’m talking to them because I suck at remembering or caring what their names are when I’m drinking. I’m sitting there two knuckles deep in this chick and can’t remember her name for shit so I just ask sweetie if she wanted a drink. She jokingly laughs and ask if remembered her name. I said fuck yes I did and got up before she made me prove it. I’m standing at the bar waiting when hefty walks up beside me. In my mind it made sense but looking back now not so much. I fucked up and asked her what her sisters name was like she was on my team and shit. Mistake. She tells me and goes back to the table. I hit the pisser on the way back feeling good about myself. I make it back to the table and everything is the same as when I left. Skinny takes my hand and puts it right back where it was and looks at me smiling and says ok smartass what’s my name? I’m all cocky and shit because I still think I know it and her sister wouldn’t ever do anything to fuck up my night. I told her the name her sister had given me at the bar and she smiles. She leans over and whispers in my ear “do you feel how good it is down there”. I said hell yes. She hits me with “well remember it because its the last time you get anywhere near it because you just called me by my moms dogs name”. What the hell???? Yep. Her sister had not only told me the wrong name on purpose but she had told her sister all about our little chat at the bar. Fuck me damn it!!! She slides my hand out and tells me to go fuck myself. How many times can one guy be told that in one night? I’m clearly not getting anything from this group of chicks tonight since they all know what just happened so I go and sit at the bar and lick my wounds. A little while later hefty walks over to get a drink and laughs about it all. I do not feel like dealing with her shit so I tell her to fuck off. She tells me that it’s not her fault I suck at remembering people’s names that I was trying to fuck. We spar it out verbally for a few minutes when she pulls off the greatest whore move of all time. She tells me that she isn’t as uptight as her sister and she didn’t give a damn if I remembered her name or not because after she was done with me that night I would damn sure remember it tomorrow. Really lady? You just cock blocked me with your sister and now you’re telling me that you’re gonna fuck me! Whores have no boundaries they won’t break to get what they want. She tells me that her group is getting ready to leave and as soon as they do we are going to my room. Who am I to argue with that? I’m as fucked up as a ran over dog at this point so my asshole side is in control. I walk over to skinny sister and tell her I’m about to fuck hefty sister and that she missed out. I don’t know when I will learn to quit while I am ahead but I hadn’t learned it at that point. She asks hefty if I was telling the truth and they get into an all out argument about how skinny sister has always gotten first dibs on whatever she wanted and how she’s played second fiddle her whole life. Yadda yadda yadda. Feeling pretty good about myself I grab hefty by the hand and tell her she can take her anger out while she rides me. She looks at skinny and says “I’m about to fuck him like I did your exhusband”. Skinny is standing there in complete disbelief as me and hefty walk to the elevator and go up to my room. I ended up coming in dead last with only one point that weekend but let me tell you one thing folks…….I still remember Alicia Michelle N€#£€¥’s full name.
Wednesday, April 16, 2014
Saturday, April 12, 2014
We celebrate kisses in literature and art. On screen, it’s the moment we’re always waiting for, and the climax of every great love story. And in our own lives, it’s the ultimate way to express how we feel.
A passionate kiss causes our blood vessels to dilate as the brain receives more oxygen than normal. Our cheeks flush, our pulse quickens, and breathing becomes irregular and deepens. Our pupils dilate, which may be the reason so many of us close our eyes. We also activate five of our twelve cranial nerves that spread out intricately to different parts of the face. The nerve pathways guide the way we interpret the world by helping us see, smell, hear, taste, and touch.
On top of that, our lips are associated with a disproportionately large part of the brain. Sex researcher Alfred Kinsey even reported that some women could reach orgasm from prolonged deep kissing without genital contact. While this sounds unusual, it likely has to do with the way our lips are packed with sensitive nerve endings so that even the slightest brush sends a cascade of information to our brains that often feels very good. Although we often don’t think of them in this way, our lips are the body’s most exposed erogenous zone.
The kiss is a universal language that transcends time and boundaries. Decades ago, anthropologists estimated that over 90 percent of cultures practiced the custom, and with the rise of the Internet and ease of travel in the 21st century, it’s fair to assume that nearly all of us are doing it. Today we see kissing practically everywhere. It is a perfect example of how both “nature” and “nurture” can complement each other to create a single complex and variable behavior. Humans seem to have an instinctive drive to kiss, but the way kisses are expressed is influenced tremendously by individuals’ culture and personal experiences. Yet unlike other human behaviors, science has barely begun to put kissing under the microscope despite its clear evolutionary and personal significance.
How does a kiss work? It acts like a drug by stimulating the natural chemicals in our bodies. When there’s real “chemistry” between two people, the right kiss can spark the magic of true romance by triggering a cocktail of hormones and neurotransmitters to course through our brains and bodies.
Kissing keeps our bodies extremely busy interpreting an enormous amount of information as billions of little nerve connections distribute signals to help determine what happens next. As neural impulses bounce between the brain and the tongue, facial muscles, lips, and skin, these impulses produce a number of neurotransmitters that influence how we feel. The right kiss can lead to the feeling of being on a natural “high.”
One of the most important neurotransmitters kissing can promote is dopamine, which is involved in helping us feel rewarded and experience pleasure. Dopamine is likely the chemical basis for terms like “walking on air.” This is the neurotransmitter responsible for the type of intense desire that makes a new romance feel addictive. Dopamine spikes during novel experiences, and a first kiss with someone special more than fits the bill. It causes us to crave more and can even lead to a loss of appetite, insomnia, or euphoria.
Of course, dopamine is only one of many chemicals that guide our emotions during a kiss. Involved with strong feelings of attachment and intimacy, oxytocin is a hormone that can be triggered by kissing. Endocrinologists believe that it is the substance that helps keep love alive in long-term relationships after the initial novelty has subsided.
Meanwhile, a passionate kiss can also raise our level of serotonin, which leads to obsessive thoughts about the kissing partner. Scientists have observed that serotonin levels in subjects involved in new relationships look a lot like those in patients suffering from obsessive-compulsive disorder. Kissing also stimulates adrenaline, which helps our bodies to anticipate what might occur next. It boosts our heart rate, which reduces stress, and can make us break into a sweat. In other words, the body’s chemical response to a good kiss mirrors many of the same feelings frequently associated with falling in love.
Love isn’t just romantic. Our brains are primed to associate kissing with feelings of attachment and security from birth. A newborn’s earliest feeding experiences at his mother’s breasts involve movements and mouth pressure similar to kissing. These actions lay down the neural pathways in a baby’s brain that continue to be important in other powerful, bonding relationships throughout his life.
Under comfortable conditions, a kiss from someone we love lowers levels of the stress hormone cortisol, reducing uneasiness and making us feel secure. However, under pressure or in the wrong setting, it can have the opposite effect, which brings up kisses that do not go so well.
Research in evolutionary psychology reports that 59 percent of men and 66 percent of women have ended a budding relationship because of a bad first kiss. When the chemistry feels wrong, both partners instinctively sense they should back off.
How might this work? A kiss puts two people in very close proximity. Our sense of smell allows us to pick up subconscious clues about the other person’s DNA or reproductive status. Biologist Claus Wedekind found that women are most attracted to the scent of men who have a very different genetic code for their immune system in a region of DNA known as the major histocompatibility complex. Pairing off with a male who has a different set of genes for immunity can lead to children that will have a higher level of genetic diversity, making them healthier and more likely to survive. (However, it’s important to note that women who take the birth control pill exhibit the opposite preference.) So even though we may not be consciously aware of it, we use behaviors like kissing to judge whether to take a relationship further, based on genetic evidence. In this manner, it’s fair to say that the act of kissing serves as nature’s litmus test.
Not surprisingly, all of the intense stimulation that a positive exchange initiates can create a very vivid memory. When Butler University psychologist John Bohannon studied over 500 subjects, he discovered that most people remember more of the detail about their first kiss than their first sexual encounter, no matter if it took place five months or 50 years ago.
Whether the experience evokes fireworks and violins, or doesn’t quite live up to expectations, the kiss serves as the single most universal and humanizing practice we all share. It is a reliable way to gauge our relationships and express our emotions, far beyond that which words can convey.
Sheril Kirshenbaum is a science writer and research associate at the Center for International Energy and Environmental Policy at the University of Texas at Austin. She is also the author of The Science of Kissing: What Our Lips Are Telling Us. Kirshenbaum was a TEDGlobal 2011 speaker.
Saturday, January 18, 2014
Friday, January 17, 2014
Just like Congressman Barney Frank.
Monday, January 13, 2014
Give us your money so we can make a movie to tell young school boys about porn... lol
Why didn't I think of that!
How do you make a whore moan?
Ask her to marry you!
"And the companion of the savior was Mary Magdalene. Christ loved Mary more than all the disciples, and used to kiss her often on her mouth. The rest of the disciples were offended by it and expressed disapproval. They said to him, 'Why do you love her more than all of us?' The Savior answered and said to them, 'Why do I not love you like her?'"
-Gospel of Philip 63.34-36, Holy Bible
'Mary Magdalene was one of Jesus' most celebrated disciples, and the most important woman disciple in the movement of Jesus. Jesus cleansed her of "seven demons", [Lu 8:2] [Mk 16:9] conventionally interpreted as referring to complex illnesses. She became most prominent during his last days, being present at the cross after the male disciples (excepting John the Beloved) had fled, and at his burial. She was the first person to see Jesus after his Resurrection, according to both John 20 and Mark 16:9. Mary Magdalene is considered by the Catholic, Orthodox, Anglican, and Lutheran churches to be a saint, with a feast day of July 22. The Eastern Orthodox churches also commemorate her on the Sunday of the Myrrhbearers. Pope Gregory the Great's homily on Luke's gospel dated 14 September 591 first suggested that Mary Magdalene was a prostitute: "She whom Luke calls the sinful woman, whom John calls Mary, we believe to be the Mary from whom seven devils were ejected according to Mark. And what did these seven devils signify, if not all the vices? ... It is clear, brothers, that the woman previously used the unguent to perfume her flesh in forbidden acts."(homily XXXIII) This identification of Mary Magdalene as a prostitute was followed by many writers and artists until the 20th century. Even today it is promulgated by some secular and occasional Christian groups. It is reflected in Martin Scorsese's film adaptation of Nikos Kazantzakis's novel The Last Temptation of Christ, in José Saramago's The Gospel According to Jesus Christ, Andrew Lloyd Webber's rock opera Jesus Christ Superstar, Mel Gibson's The Passion of the Christ, Jean-Claude La Marre's Color of the Cross and Hal Hartley's The Book of Life. It was because of this association of Mary as a prostitute that she became the patroness of "wayward women", and "Magdalene houses" became established to help save women from prostitution.'
"Also they [the Cathars] teach in their secret meetings that Mary Magdalene was the wife of Christ. She was the Samaritan woman to whom He said, 'Call thy husband.' She was the woman taken into adultery, whom Christ set free lest the Jews stone her, and she was with Him in three places, in the temple, at the well, and in the garden. After the Resurrection, He appeared first to her."
-Ermengaud of Béziers, Treatise against Heretics
"I think it's entirely plausible to think that Jesus may have been married. It was a normal practice for Jewish men. It would also be normal not to mention that he had a wife."
-Dr Karen King PhD, Harvard University Professor
"The sacred union of Jesus and his Bride once formed the cornerstone of Christianity….the blueprint of the Sacred Marriage, that the later (church) builders rejected, causing a disastrous flaw in Christian doctrine that has warped Western civilization for nearly two millennia."
-Margaret Starbird, The Goddess in the Gospels
"She walks upon our meadows green, the Lamb of God walks by her side, And (in) every English Child is seen, children of Jesus and his Bride."
-Song of Jerusalem, by William Blake
"I know a guy who kept whores and 12 losers around, and the jews crucified him too."
-William Shatner, Charlie Sheen Roast
BLOODLINE OF THE HOLY GRAIL - Jesus with a pregnant Mary Magdalene at Church of Mary Kilmore Church (Caell Muire) in the village of Dervaig on the Isle of Mull in Scotland where Jesus and Mary allegedly spent their retirement years in wedded bliss. John Martinus was believed in the early Christian Period to be the last son of Jesus by Mary Magdalene, born on the Scottish Isle of Iona. Britain was the first nation to officially adopt Christianity. The stained glass window reads: "Mary hath chosen that good part, which shall not be taken away from her" from Luke Chapter 10 Verse 38-42, Holy Bible
Monday, December 30, 2013
Why do men cheat? To survive.
10 Tips for Wives to Keep Your Husband from Cheating, Annotated Edition
Reposted from Prowling with Kat, annotations by W&H
Ok, I know that your first reaction to this is going to be that it's not your fault if he cheats, and you are right, of course. Your husband is responsible for his own behavior. Not only that, but there are some guys who are going to cheat no matter what you do just because they are addicted to the newness of fresh pussy (If my use of the word "pussy" just offended you, get over it. You need to toughen up if you are going to compete with the prowling women out there, ok?). As I was saying, even though you are not responsible for his choices, there are some things you can do to minimize the chances that your man will stray.
Yes, sex addiction is real. But most men will be loyal -- it's a hellova lot less work, less risk, less expensive, less hassle, and usually better sex. It usually takes alot of bullshite for a guy to go hunting new pussy. In PUA Speak a Tester is a whore or hooker, an otherwise ordinary person who got abused sexually (often in childhood) or abandoned by a parent or lover, who seeks comfort and security by diversifying their portfolio with perhaps 100s of lovers, as a "legitimate" strategy to prevent going insane. PUA Speak defines Investor as a person seeking a monogamous LTR, who once they finally "fix" their lover and get what they want, they ditch them as fast as they can. Advantages and disadvantages to both...
I know what I'm talking about. I have been "the other woman" with more than a few "happily married" men. I've listened to countless stories about their wives and their marriages and how they would like them to be different. The first thing I want to tell you is that, almost without exception, they really do love you and they really do want their marriages to work. But some things are missing.
Yes. Beware a sexless, loveless, emotionless relationship, almost always derailed by a woman's addictions to meds, drugs, alcohol, food, work, hobbies, kids. If you want to be addicted to something, let it be your man's dick, exercise, nutrition, the study of sex, and the feminine arts.
Here are some tips to help you address those things before your man steps out of the marriage to find them:
Pay attention ladies. Kat knows what she's talking about.
1. Don't underestimate the importance of a sexual relationship to a man. Women tend to minimize the importance of sex and write it off as a male perversion, but it's not. Wanting sex regularly, particularly with the woman they love, is completely normal - biologically and emotionally. Cutting it off has all sorts of ramifications, not the least of which is that they will often feel unwanted and like they are not fully appreciated as a man. It's a big deal. Please stop acting like it's not. We could debate all day about whether other things in a relationship are or should be more important, but that doesn't matter. The fact remains that your husband needs a satisfying sexual relationship with you to be truly happy in the marriage. It's not just a want, but a need.
It's a fundamental need for human-to-human contact, just like a newborn baby requires human contact from its mother or it quickly goes insane. Or like food, water and air.
2. Make your husband feel like sex with him is important to you, too. The one thing I have heard from every single married man I've ever been with is what a turn on it is to be with a woman who wants to have sex, and who wants to have sex with him. They feel like you don't want them anymore and your half-hearted attempts to give in to them as you openly act like you just want it over with as soon as possible are hurtful to some and downright offensive to others. Your husband's sexual satisfaction is not just about orgasm. He needs to feel that you want to have sex with him and that you enjoy it.
Yes, very important. Most men drop the ball here by failing to even try to satisfy their woman. Many lack the skillset to make it happen even if they tried. In the case of hookers, X callgirl Miss Lovely said 90% of her customers didn't make any attempt to give their fuckbuddy an orgasm, with permanent damage to the hookers. Probably similar stats for married women, since most customers of hookers are married. Me nalso need to care about appearance, fitness and hygiene, which not only makes their lady happier, it helps the man's confidence and performance. SHAVE, you know where.
3. Get help to get over your "issues." Many men say that their wife has just lost interest in sex and that there appears to be nothing that either spouse can do about that. That is simply not true. If you have lost interest in sex, please go to your doctor and tell him that you have lost interest and ask for help. There are many biological conditions that might be interfering with your libido. Work with your doctor to find any problem, if there is one, and treat it. After that, if you still have no desire, seek counseling.
Yes. Plus there are many natural hormone replacements besides dangerous meds. While receiving counseling and group therapy for men of raped women at a sexual assault crisis center, we watched a video of a woman bragging how she intentionally made herself ugly just to keep her husband from wanting sex...she had a creepy smile on her face when she said it... She was raped in childhood not by her husband. I have no idea if this woman got cured, but I doubt it. PUA experts say only 5% of the female population is fuckable and want to be fucked...these are horrible odds for the average man trying to get laid, even in a relationship or marriage. Ladees, if you find yourself turning into a bull dyke with increasing age, get hormone replacement therapy STAT. Manhands prevent a lady from even giving a handjob, so wear gloves when working, or get HRT.
4. Learn to give (and like) oral sex. Men like oral sex. I often hear them say that their wives won't do it or that their wives don't do it well. If I told you that learning to give good head might be the difference between losing or keeping your husband, would you do it? Good girl. So, educate yourself. When I was newly married, I knew my husband loved to receive oral satisfaction, but I also felt very inadequate because I knew I didn't know what I was doing. One day, I sat him down and I told him how I was feeling. I told him that I wanted to learn how to do it, and I asked him if he would teach me what he likes and what he doesn't. And I also asked him to be patient with me. Before I was even done saying that, his pants were off and his cock was hard, and he was ready to give me my first lesson. He talked me through it. I tried different things. He gave me immediate feedback (kind words, moans, and cum) when I did it well. I practiced....a lot, because it was important to me to please him. I also looked at some books and videos and tried to learn even more. I really got into it and learned to like it (a lot), and my husband was turned on by the fact that I wanted to learn.
Yes. My X wife was raped at knifepoint by a coworker on Valentines Day (trial and death threats years before we met), so she was forever turned off to giving head, or getting flowers on Valentines Day. She refused all counseling. When I met Miss Lovely after my divorce, she taught me what I was missing. It was amazing! Even when giving a handjob with a smile, she loved licking my cum. It's an acceptance thing... "I accept you and love you as a man and human being." This got me more interested in giving oral to her, up to 1.5 hours oral per date, up to 3 hours oral per week (her meds delayed or blocked orgasm, off meds she'd cum in 5 minutes). Before I could do this, I had to learn to accept her as a human being and a woman, with her history of 50 customers and 5 or more regulars including BF. If I can suck it up, so can you. Giving her oral to get warmed up made the fucking 10 times hotter, because she was cumming constantly and getting into it 10 times more. And ladees, learn how to give a GREAT handjob, very handy while driving as well! A happy ending with 45-minute nude massage is worth at least $150 on the open market, and is priceless for maintaining a steady relationship. Go to an AMP and watch the professionals give your man a table shower and bodyrub with happy ending, if you really want to be a sexpert. Yes, you can get a massage and table shower too... SHAVE, you know where.
5. Speak up, and teach your husband what turns you on. Trust me, your pleasure is a big turn on for your husband. If he's just missing the mark, so to speak, in helping you come to orgasm, show him what to do. Talk him through it. He will get the message that you really want pleasure, which he will love, and he'll want to give it to you. For a man, a huge part of feeling sexually powerful is knowing that he can please a woman. I've been with men who who were just deliriously excited that they could make me come because they thought they had lost the ability to bring a woman pleasure and my orgasm showed them that wasn't true. Their wives' lack of interest had actually convinced these men that there was something wrong with them. They had lost confidence, and they went to another woman to get it back. Let your husband please you. Show him how. If you don't know how, get professional help (see #3, above).
Yes. Men should ask what turns her on, then get lessons. That's when I discovered how important oral is to a woman, especially one who fucks lots of men who mostly refuse to take care of her needs. My Good Girls however, hated oral, but then they usually hated having sex, too, unless the planets were in alignment on the summer solstice. This works both ways. I had to teach a professional, Miss Lovely, how to give a proper handjob, hitting the man-clit with each stroke. When I explained it that way, she understood instantly. Amazing how many women, even professionals, can't give a proper handjob, so I have to teach them. And talking during sex can be extremely hot... Selfie pics and porn vids are great during sex as well, and are excellent time-wasters for those long hours in-between liasons, much more satisfying than internet porn.
6. Have more sex. Interestingly, the more you have sex, the more you'll want sex. It stimulates the pleasure center of your brain and gets your hormones and other juices flowing. Sometimes the best way to shake your libido awake is just to start having sex.
Yes. YMMV but I need sex at least 3 times a week to feel normal and human and sane and loved, but sometimes I enjoyed an all-nighter with Miss Lovely, fucking until 6 am, then going to work at 9. I actually performed better on the job under this kind of pressure and release, but I did require DHEA to keep my testosterone up, and high-dose extended release niacin for energy (500mg).
7. Try something new. Buy your husband a sex toy to try out on you. Get an instructional sex book or DVD and try new positions together. You can never be "fresh pussy" for your husband like you were when you were first married, but you can do the next best thing - you can keep it as fresh as possible by not falling into a routine of doing the same thing every time. You may think that your husband should take the lead on this if it matters to him, but often your husband won't try something new because he's afraid he'll offend you and then he won't get any sex at all (and that is something most men want to avoid at all costs). If you bring up new things to try, he'll know that you understand how important the sexual relationship is to him and you'll keep him wondering what fun thing you'll come up with next. And that will keep him at home with you.
Yes. Sex toys get women in the mood almost as good as a good oral fucking. Best I've found is the little Magic Bullet, with a single AAA battery, powerful, easy to hold, doesn't get heavy, runs forever, no unsightly power cord, can carry in your pocket for covert rondeveus. Miss Lovely complained that 80% of her customers wanted to fuck her in the ass, which she did once enjoy with her first BF as a young teenager, but even that was on opiates, and now she hates him. So now, she hates anal sex like she's a mangina, and would lie to bait-and-switch her 50 customers, then find an excuse to not do it once they've paid their money. This resulted in a few anal rapes and robberies, to go with her near-murders by nonconsentual choking. So guys, don't be fags or lunatics or serial killers, it's probably a turn off to your significant others, or might kill them. Instead, get counseling for your gayness and daddy issues, or go kill yourselves. Please, so you quit ruining it for the rest of us.
8. Remember that sex starts outside the bedroom. I know. Men are really bad about this. I can't tell you how many times over the last 20+ years my husband has been short with me or cranky and then wanted sex when we went to bed. It's like there's a total disconnect between the brain and the cock. Still, if you want your husband to stay sexually interested in you, you need to give him something to be interested in. Send him sweet (and maybe even dirty) little text messages and notes ("Watching you come out of the shower this morning got me wet, too. Can't wait 'til tonight." "I love you. Can't wait to feel your arms around me again."). Get as naughty as you want. This is your husband, for goodness' sake! Don't be shy. Just remember, if your husband is having an affair, he's going to be getting even naughtier little messages than the examples I gave you, and he'll love them and they will make him rush to her to get some of the real thing. Don't you want him thinking about you and rushing home to you instead?
Yes, thank you Kat, excellent tips. A gentle massage fixes everything. So does laughing. Girly Talk can defuse any argument. I really enjoy my nudie selfie sexts from my hooker friends, who say the most amazing things in person. Fuck I love fucking them! Wish I could find a GF who understands how important that stuff is, and how fun it is. My X wife however, refused to even get a cellphone, even when I gave her one prepaid.
9. Be nice to your husband. This is really part of #8, but I wanted to list it separately because it's very important. Please forgive me for being so blunt, but some of you are just bitches to your men. You henpeck them and try to control them constantly, you speak to them very harshly and rudely, and you belittle their attempts at affection. Why are you surprised when they find escape in the arms of a woman who speaks softly and gently to them and treats them nicely? Now, this doesn't apply to all of you because I often hear from men that they love everything about their wives except their sex lives, but I also hear from others that they are tired of being treated like a meal ticket and a home repair man. When a marriage is going through a rough spell, it can be hard to remember the basic courtesies of companionship, but please make an effort. Say "please" and "thank you." Follow the basic rule you learned from your mom - "If you can't say something nice, don't say anything at all" - and follow the Golden Rule.
Yes. It helps for men and women to do chores together, even if one is just supervising, especially if the supervisor is so fucking cute as Miss Lovely barking orders in her patented Little Girly Girl voice (EVERY woman should learn girly speak in their skillset). I enjoyed doing dishes as much as she hated doing them. It would've been even more fun had she been in something extra sexy, or nothing at all, as she often liked to wear around my house. Fucking before or after, or during, makes chores a LOT more pleasant, as in the case with Miss Lovely. Women vastly underestimate their powers of persuasion with this technique.
10. Don't give up. It's hard to change behavior and learn new skills and habits, even if you really want to. Please don't give up. The cost will be a great one if you quit, but the payoff if you persevere will be wonderful. Imagine your husband doting on you like he did when you were first married. Wouldn't you love to be fully satisfied in the bedroom? You can be, and so can he. No, it's not as easy as it was when you were new together, but that doesn't mean that it can't be even better if you make a good effort. Isn't he worth it?
You're never too old till you die. Once over the hill you just pick up speed. Quit making excuses and just do it!
On a Final Note, so many couples fall appart under financial pressures, and their sex lives are first to go. But sex is FREE. When the bills are overdue or you can't afford that special piece of crap made in commie china you've been lusting for, there's nothing like an orgasm to put things in perspective. The happiest people I've ever seen are usually the "poorest", and the most miserable are usually the "richest". God made us to fuck, who are you to argue with The Creator? Besides, preggie sex can be the best sex of your life, and even childbirth can be the best sex of your life! lol
Sunday, December 22, 2013
May 31, 2013
When Elena Skoko gave birth to her daughter three years ago, she felt pain. But she also felt something else: waves of pleasure so ecstatic they compared to an orgasm.
"I had this wavy sensation of blissful waves going through me," said Skoko, a singer and author of "Memoirs of a Singing Birth" (lulu.com, 2012).
Though childbirth is frequently spoken of in terms of pain and punishment, some women do experience what are known as orgasmic or ecstatic births. A new survey, available online May 3 in the journal Sexologies, finds that midwives report witnessing orgasms in about 0.3 percent of births.
Anatomically, orgasmic birth is no surprise, said Barry Komisaruk, a professor of psychology at Rutgers University in New Jersey who studies orgasm. In fact, the intense stimulation of the vaginal canal in childbirth may work to block pain — whether that stimulation is felt as sexual or not. [Awkward Anatomy: 10 Odd Facts About the Female Body]
Orgasmic Birth: Your Guide to a Safe, Satisfying, and Pleasurable Birth Experience - With more than 4 million babies born in the United States each year, over 120,000 women have orgasms during childbirth
Orgasmic birth: Yes, really
Anecdotal reports of orgasm during birth have long circulated in the natural childbirth community. These reports reached perhaps their widest audience yet in 2009 with the documentary "Orgasmic Birth: The Best-Kept Secret," directed by childbirth educator Debra Pascali-Bonaro.
People are often skeptical of the concept of pleasure during birth, Pascali-Bonaro told LiveScience. Some see the idea of sexual feelings during childbirth as unacceptable, she said.
"People see 'birth' and 'orgasmic' together on paper, and it pushes all their buttons on sexuality," Pascali-Bonaro said. In addition, she said, many women in America give birth in settings where they aren't able to move around freely because of fetal monitoring devices, where they have little labor support and where they aren't allowed water to drink in case of a C-section (food and beverages aren't permitted before surgery). All of these limitations make a pleasurable birth experience less likely and less imaginable for women who've had babies, she said.
The new study, conducted by psychologist Thierry Postel of Blainville-sur-Mer, France, is among the first to try to put hard numbers on how many women experience moments of ecstasy in birth. Postel contacted 956 French midwives, asking them to complete an online questionnaire about orgasmic birth. He got 109 complete responses for midwives, who, combined, had assisted 206,000 births in their careers.
Postel focused on midwives rather than doctors or nurses, because midwives witness many births firsthand and are reliable observers, he wrote. He also asked midwives to forward the surveys to recent mothers if they saw fit.
The results "established the fact that obstetrical pleasure exists," Postel wrote. Midwives reported 668 cases in which mothers told midwives they'd felt orgasmic sensations in birth. In another 868 cases, midwives said they'd seen mothers demonstrate signs of pleasure during childbirth. Finally, nine mothers completed questionnaires confirming they'd experienced an orgasm during birth.
If anything, Pascali-Bonaro said, the survey likely underestimates the number of women who've experienced pleasure in birth by asking primarily midwives rather than mothers about their experiences. In one screening of her film, Pascali-Bonaro said an obstetrician stood up to say he'd never witnessed anything remotely orgasmic in his years of delivering babies.
"Three rows behind him a woman jumped up and said, 'Doctor, I gave birth with you three years ago, and I had a very orgasmic birth, with an orgasm, but what makes you think I would tell you?'" Pascali-Bonaro said.
The anatomy of orgasmic birth
Skeptics of orgasmic birth abound — "I've also heard that men can enjoy a similar experience by having an intimate encounter with a 20-ton press," a commenter appropriately named "Skeptic" posted on a 2008 New York Times article about Pascali-Bonaro's movie. But research suggests that orgasm during birth comes down to simple anatomy.
"It's stimulation of the birth canal, stimulation of the cervix, the vagina and the clitoris and uterine contractions," Komisaruk told LiveScience. "A lot of women say during sexual orgasms uterine contractions feel pleasurable."
Every woman's anatomy is different, Komisaruk said, so some women may experience pleasure during childbirth while others feel only the pain. [5 Surprising Facts About Pain]
"There are so many factors that could make the difference between a pleasurable response and a terribly stressful, aversive experience that you can't generalize it," he said. "There's no reason to try to generalize. Different people have different pain thresholds. Different people have different attitudes. If a woman has a fear of sexuality, if she starts having a pleasurable sensation she may feel this is completely inappropriate psychologically, and that itself could be an aversive effect."
In other words: No pressure.
"Our message is not at all that this should be a performance standard," Pascali-Bonaro said. Rather, she said, her goal is to see women given the full range of options for birth and the support they need to experience moments of joy and bliss during the process.
The science of pain and pleasure
Whether or not orgasmic birth is in the cards, the anatomy involved brings good news for laboring women. Komisaruk and his colleagues have found that sexual stimulation and orgasm reduce sensitivity to pain. (Sex can even cure migraines, according to a March 2013 study.)
In 1988, Komisaruk and his co-researchers published a study in the Journal of Sex Research that found when women stimulated their vaginas or clitorises, they became less sensitive to painful stimulation — but not to other tactile stimulation. In 1990, the researchers followed up with a study that found women in labor had reduced pain sensitivity during labor compared with before and after. (The women in the study used Lamaze breathing techniques rather than drugs to control pain.)[Blossoming Body: 8 Odd Changes That Occur During Pregnancy]
In rats, Komisaruk has found that vaginal stimulation blocks the release of a pain transmitter called Substance P right at the level of the spinal cord. In other words, the sensory neurons tasked with transmitting their message of "ouch!" to the central nervous system are stymied from the get-go.
"It's an actual physiological, very primordial system of the genital system blocking pain input," Komisaruk said.
In addition, two regions of the brain that become active during orgasm, the anterior cingulate cortex and the insula, are also active during painful experiences.
"There's something very intriguing going on between pain and pleasure," said Komisaruk.
Komisaruk holds a patent on the substance that blocks the pain in rats, called vasoactive intestinal peptide. A few pharmaceutical companies have shown interest, he said, but none have yet been willing to shell out the money it would take to test the substance for use as a pain medication in humans.
Out of the laboratory and in the delivery room, clitoral and nipple stimulation provide pain relief for some women during labor, Pascali-Bonaro said. Some even use vibrators during labor to decrease pain.
"It's such a culture where some women actually feel shamedthat they have pleasure, because the expectation is pain," Pascali-Bonaro said. "We have to change that."
For Skoko, who sang in order to get through her contractions, accepting sensuality into the birthing room was key.
"The moment I realized my body is behaving sensually spontaneously and not obstructing that feeling, and just going with this feeling of my sensual body, my labor just went fast ahead," said Skoko, who gave birth at the Yayasan Bumi Sehat natural birth center in Bali, Indonesia, where she lives part-time.
"I had pain, but was not afraid of it, because I was dealing with it," Skoko said. "It was fun, because I could laugh through it."
A Team + Little Lady = Remix
by Ed Sheeran with Mikill Pane
[Verse 1 - Mikill Pane:]
Little lady, this is just the worst way to spend your birthday
it's 30 degrees, Thursday
you work late, you was with a perv making dirty fake love in his Mercedes
lady the word 'rape' sums up events that take place every night
you wanna get up but you know your legs will ache if you try
And you remember that your punter went crazy last night
you drag yourself to the mirror to check your face then you cry
forget the visit to the clinic you was booked in for
you'll make a trip to the Whittington were they'll look at your jaw
they'll be inquisitive and ask about your business for sure
they'll know you're fibbing if you tell them you got hit by a door
but young woman
the pimp sees you as nothing but a dumb hooker
medical attention could be fatal
'cause the cunt wouldn't ever let a doctor near someone thats getting dough for him
'cause next you got poxy authorities sticking their noses in
A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
She's just under the upper hand
goes mad for a couple grams
And she don't wanna go outside tonight.
'cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
It's too cold outside for angels to fly.
A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Verse 2 - Mikill Pane:]
Little lady, your mind you've made up
your injuries you can't hide with make-up
you need some medical advice, you make up
a little lie to say just
in case the doc opens his eyes and don't decide to play dumb
with any luck you'll see the same dude who stiched your top lip
last year when your pimp just lost it
he wouldn't recognise if you stared him in the face anyway
'cos all the heroin is making you age
but your a heroine for taking the strain of being a prostitue and punching bag
the funds you have left go where your from using moneygram
mother had to get you out the motherland to study
that was all she struggled to have a single daughter with the upper hand
little does she know you're never coming back
she put you in her brother's hand only for him to formulate another plan
he's the fucking cause of your appalling state the summer
fancy that; you came to London to get pimped by your uncle, damn.
A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
She's just under the upper hand
goes mad for a couple grams
And she don't wanna go outside tonight.
'cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
It's too cold outside for angels to fly
Now an angel will die, covered in white
with closed eyes, hoping for a better life
this time, we'll fade out tonight,
straight down the line.
A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Verse 3 - Mikill Pane:]
Little lady, you're trembling with fear
your skinny frame kinda resembles the dear
you're sitting facing the detective, oh dear
the meddling nurse couldn't just leave it,
she's only gone and made it much worse calling police in.
She'll never know the gravity of the damage she's caused.
You're causing scandal, going mad in the ward now
the copper's trying to calm you, telling you he won't let no one harm you
the same question he keeps trying to ask you, "Who you working for?"
He's talking to like you're worth more than a dirty whore.
You're having a conversation you could be murdered for.
You're learning more about exactly why you need to help bring him or her to court
He's kicking knowledge you ain't ever heard before
just before he leaves, he reassures you that he knows that it's hard
he underlines a mobile number you can phone on his card
begs you to use it
he's useless if you're gonna be stupid
'cos an answer hasn't come from your bruised lips, you're on your own
you've gotta go and give your pimp what you owe
you reach your door and then it dawns that you've been followed home
before you turn around you feel a cold blade on your throat
and then a voice says, "Where you been bitch? I wanna know."
No prizes for guessing who it is, resistance would be foolishness
you open the front door, he boots you in
there's something new in him, he's silent now that fills you with terror
get your alibi straight, you could be killed for an error
he towers over you, the 6-inch knife catches the sunlight
at this point your life flashes before your eyes
your handbag's dropped and all the contents are all over the floor
despite the mess there's only one thing that's caught his eye
and in the moment of rage, he brutally murders his niece
and dumps her body at the boot of his mercs in the street.
Little lady left this earth in the worst way
all because she got a card on her 13th birthday
A Team + Little Lady = Remix[Chorus - Ed Sheeran:]
We're all under the upper hand
And go mad for a couple grams;
And we don't wanna go outside tonight.
'Cos in the pipe she'll fly to the motherland and
sell love to another man
it's too cold outside for angels to fly,
For angels to fly,
Angels to fly, to fly, to fly.
Friday, December 13, 2013
reposted from AuthenticPUA.com
The PUA Identity – How It Develops (A Bit Of History)
The main difference between what a PUA learns and does – and what the average guy out there who knows nothing about this stuff does – is the PUA actually learns the skill of cold approaching. By cold approaching I mean: approaching a woman in any situation – street, bar, nightclub – without having met her before, usually without alcohol (especially in the case of daygame), and definitely more consistently than the average guy. Back in the day there was a common view that the “first 3000 approaches didn’t count” as you were “building up a skillset”. This “practicing” viewpoint in my view can often lead to a real risk of the guy in question actually hindering his progress, as well as developing an unhealthy PUA identity. I’ll illustrate by example. Here is a path / sequence that a newbie might follow as he improves:
Path To The PUA Identity:
1:/ Approach and get blown out
2:/ Approach and get blown out less
3:/ Approach and not get blown out less and have short conversation
4:/ Approach and have longer conversation and collect numbers which flake
5: Approach and have longer conversation and collect numbers which don’t flake and lead to Day2
6:/ Have Day 2′s which infrequently lead to sex
7:/ Have Day 2s which more frequently lead to sex
And of course, other variables come into play such as the hotness of the girl etc.
Avoiding The PUA Identity
I am not saying this is an accurate depiction of most guys path, just that it is a commonly held viewpoint. I never actually agreed with this viewpoint. I certainly don’t believe this sequence needs to be followed if you approach things in the right way. To take the approaching example, I advocate approaching the women you really want and expressing sexual energy, and actually trying to get laid or pursue what your heart and balls tell you with the girl in question.
Here is a key distinction : some guys think they need to take “baby” steps and actually set up their own roadblocks in their mind about their progress. To me this is nuts! You will find that the woman will put up plenty of her own roadblocks, you don’t need to invent more! (This approach is also inefficient by the way).
Approaching Girls And The PUA Identity
Take this away : next time you try and approach a girl – take it as far as you can. .Literally try and take her to bed – on that day , in that timeframe (unless of course you have something better to do!) If you can’t do it in that timeframe, get her number and MEAN IT. You need to develop what I call the killer instinct. Or if you prefer a sales analogy : Always Be Closing!! I didn’t mention this in my “About Me” section of the website, but as I was learning this stuff, my “practice” consisted of actually fuccking girls on a regular train journey between Milton Keynes and London (this was 6 years ago) – in a 40 minute journey – to and from work! When you go out, try to adopt a similar mindset. Don’t view it as practice. View it as going out to get laid!!
Go out to get laid
The other real danger with this approach is that if you get to the point where you live breathe and eat this stuff – where your ability to approach and “close” defines you – then I believe you’re on a potentially very dark path.
Warning Signs Of An Unhealthy PUA Identity!
I’m probably at around the 300 mark now – (I haven’t counted but it’s something like that) and truth be told nowadays I am not proud of it. It is a symptom of what I used to be like :
1:/ I had something to prove (mostly to myself)
2:/ My ability to get hot women consistently defined me. I made a PUA identity out of it.
3:/ I had a much less healthy view on “rejection” and in some ways took it as an affront to my dignity and identity.
I’ve met guys (very few but they are out there – and they are usually not PUAs!) who have slept with more women than me and continue to do so.
The PUA Identity And Sleeping With Lots Of Girls!
I remember during the few years that I slept with girl after girl, week in week out, I often felt unhappy if I wasn’t getting the results I was used to. On some level I felt I HAD to approach and sleep with more women. I would sometimes kick myself if I didn’t do it, if an attractive girl walked past. I reacted badly to “rejection” It was like a fishook in my mind, a monkey on my back.
Growing Away From The PUA Identity Into Real Self Esteem
For the last few years, I no longer have this feeling. I feel more complete, at ease with myself, content in my own skin, relaxed and happy. This is what I want to impart to you. (As well as the killer pick up artist skills, obviously). It’s why I call my website “AuthenticPUA”. There is no mismatch between what I say and what I do. I approach and sleep with the women I really like (beauty is the 1st criteria, the prerequisite – but it’s not the only one). I never lie to them and I never lie to myself. I don’t worry about rejection because it is no longer my identity (and by the way I get “rejected” much less). I get hotter girls, more easily, more consistently, than ever before – despite my advancing years. Girls love being with me and they want stick around with me, despite me not being rich or excessively good looking (though I do have an extraordinarily large penis). JOKE HA HA.
Avoiding The PUA Identity : 2 Key Points
++In your development phase, follow what your balls and instincts tell you to do. Approach the girls you really want, etc etc. and take it as far as you can! Don’t put roadblocks in the way that you don’t need to.
++If you’re further down the path, recognise the symptoms that you have a PUA Identity as a pick up artist and that it defines you in an unhealthy way:
1:/ If you feel this monkey on your back, this nagging feeling to approach and screw more women.
2:/ If you handle rejection badly
3:/ If you can’t laugh at yourself and can’t take a joke about your “skill” with women.
4:/ If you find it hard to have a normal, loving relationship with a woman.
5:/ If you still approach a lot of girls.
If you’re affected by point 2 then I would suggest sitting down and having a good long, hard look at yourself and be brutally honest with yourself. Is what you are doing making you happy? Is it serving you? If it is not then start to change it.
PUA Identity – Other Key Distinctions:
If you’re feeling disinclined to approach – don’t fight it, it’s normal!
If you are having a “bad run” – or you’re not getting great results – don’t let it get you down and for gods sake don’t let this make you feel less of a man! Don’t panic about “losing it” , etc etc (does this ring a bell with any of you?). Think about how weak and disempowering this is and how it comes across to women! A pick up artist must be the only demographic who chases women he really isn’t that bothered about to validate a view of himself as a superstar PUA.
Rest assured that others have taken this path and the above symptoms are healthy , normal signs and should be embraced and responded to appropriately, not rejected. it means you are on your way to developping real self esteem and real inner peace.
And of course – having the ability to meet, attract and seduce the hottest, highest self esteem women you’ve ever met – and keep them.
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Reposted from Krauser's PUA Adventure
Here’s another textbook same day lay. Learning Daygame is as much a habit as it is a skill so having not done any in London since last summer I was getting rusty. Avoidance weasel was getting vocal
It’s winter. Your libido is supposed to be low. Just wait till it warms up
There’s no pretty girls out in cold weather. Just look at that snow!
What’s the rush? You don’t care about notches anyway. Didn’t you write a post on it?
He’s a difficult chap this weasel, always finding reasons not to approach women. So I overrule him. It’s a new year and I’ve quit my job. All the girls on my rotation live in Central Europe so I’ve got nothing going on in London. I no longer daygame in London for “the lifestyle” and the identity. I don’t go out to improve my skills. That phase is long behind me. Now I go out if I’m in a good mood, or in this case if I have an empty bed. I go out to get a new girl.
Textbook Tip #1 – Go out. You need to make things happen.
I’m shivering under a thick woolly hat, my nose going numb. Piles of slush still lie against the kerb from last night’s snow. Not alot of people on Oxford Street. I force myself to open the first decent girl I see – a cute unassuming French twenty-year old. She likes me, there’s that flicker in the eye contact, but it’s logistically horrible. She’s about to meet the male “friend” she’s visiting and returns to Paris tomorrow. Either he’s fucking her or trying to. Either way I doubt I’d get her away from him so I take a flaky facebook. Next three sets are just unlucky. Nice girls, big smiles, but all in a hurry and not much into me.
I remind myself daygame is about flipping over stones. Just keep doing decent work, keep approaching and eventually I’ll encounter a girl who is available and into me. Then I’m in like Jimmy Saville. However, I’m over an hour into it and getting cold. There’s precious little to shoot at. I drift towards the Caffe Nero in Trafalgar Square to warm up and read my book. It’s awfully comfortable in those soft leather sofas.
Textbook Tip #2 – If your state is dropping, take a break. Regroup.
The sky darkens outside, the winter nights cutting in. I’m a little restless. I came out to find a girl and here I am sitting reading the autobiography of an Italian bank robber. I remind myself of my reference experiences. Daygame isn’t so tough. I’ve done it plenty. All four girls I spoke to today enjoyed the interaction. All were very pretty. Just keep churning it out. The pitbull is straining at the leash again. So I put my coat on and step outside…. into a blast of icy air… brrrrrrrrrr. A bus passes by and stops five metres up the road, like a siren song singing me to the warmth of my home. I resist. “Walk up to Bond Street at least, then get a bus” I tell myself and trudge out. I only need one scrap of good fortune. One girl.
Textbook Tip #3 – Choose your targets wisely, especially if your state is borderline.
I don’t kid myself that I’m shooting for the fences here. If I see a ten I’ll open just on general principle but I’m not in the mood for a challenge. I’m scanning for my favourite type of girl and as I reach Piccadilly Circus she appears in front of me like an apparition. She checks all the boxes:
•Dark features with coffee skin and long black hair
•Soft feminine dress sense with a cute little woolly hat
•Wandering around aimlessly, eyes wandering to all the old buildings
•Sensible shoes, jeans, warm clothes. Urban hiking gear
Over a year ago I once asked Tom from Daygame to write a list of characteristics identifying the best candidates for an SDL. He calls them “vulnerable”. Operationalise it, I asked. So he wrote a list and this girl checked most of the boxes. She’s clearly a tourist who is visiting London alone and spent the past several hours walking around. She’s cold, her legs ache, and she hasn’t had a real conversation all day. Hello, I’m Nick…..
Textbook Tip #4 – If you can’t organically build momentum, you’ll have to force it
It’s a slow start. She’s from Chile, in London for two days before returning to her friend in Paris to continue a Euro tour. She’s not giving off any IOIs except the most important one – making no effort to leave. Five minutes or so on the street and I feel just about enough of a hook to bounce to the idate, a pub 50m up the road. We settle in the upstairs lounge and she has a half pint of bitter (her first time in an English pub). Conversation is fine but twenty minutes in I realise I’m too logical, not drawing her onto the right topics so I shift gear. Classic forced-rapport questions:
If your friends were to describe you in three words, what would they be? (answer: intelligent, friendly, crazy)
How old were your friends in Chile when they first kissed boys? (answer: 11)
How do boys and girls meet in Santiago? Is it a bar culture? (answer: same as most countries)
She’s soon perked up and we’ve got good rapport. I kino test a few times. Oh, those owl earings are nice, let me see. Oh, take your hat off so I can see your hair (and then I fluff her hair up a bit). Oh, show me that ring. All I’m looking for is to touch her and see if she flinches away. Nope, she likes it. Green light.
I’m in full-on leading mode now and take her to a second bar where we sit side-by-side. More plausibly-deniable touching and I just sense the moment. I kiss her.
Her: You’re crazy!
Her: This is so unexpected
Me: Yes. It’s fast
Her: You could be a dangerous killer
Me: Yes. I am
She can’t get enough of me now. Verbal rapport gives way to physical rapport as I pull her in, stroke her hair, hold her hand. Everything I can do to accelerate the comfort. I’m still not thinking of the SDL because she just doesn’t seem up for it. She’s too shy, giving too few signals. Avoidance weasel tells me to take a Facebook – as if I’ll ever see her again when she lives and works in Chile. Fuck that. I’m gonna push and push. I seed a bar halfway home. My biggest obstacle is distance because I don’t live in the city centre. It’ll be a long bus journey.
Textbook Tip #5 – There’s usually at least one big leap of faith in the escalation
We walk out to the bus stop on Oxford Street. She’s compliant and raising no fuss. As we buy a ticket and board she doesn’t seem too worried about the destination. In for a penny in for a pound – I decide to stay on the bus all the way home and forget the idea of a third pub. Now I shift into verbal bamboozlement mode to occupy her mind. Twenty minutes into the journey she’s finally a little antsy and realises we aren’t headed to this pub.
Her: [looking out the window] Where are we going?
Me: My place
Her: [long pensive look] Ok
We get wine from the corner shop and proceed directly to my room. I take off my shoes and tell her to do likewise then I disappear for five minutes to find wine glasses. It’s good form to leave a girl alone in your room for a while – her hindbrain calms itself with the knowledge she is free to leave. They never do leave. Halfway through the wine I pull her in and go for it. Ten minutes of half-arsed LMR and I’m banging her. Mid-bang I conduct a short interview:
Me: At what moment did you realise I was going to fuck you?
Her: During the bus journey
Me: At what moment did you look at me and think “yeah, I could fuck this guy”?
Her: In the second pub but it wasn’t conscious
Me: You like it that I just picked you up off the street and now I’m fucking you, don’t you
Textbook Tip #6 – She’ll usually reconcile herself to the prospect of fucking you quite early on, before you’ve made any big moves
After she’s wiped my muck off her breasts and face she gives that dazed and confused look I’ve seen so many times on SDLs. What just happened? I can’t believe I did that! I never do this! She tells me I’m the eighth guy to fuck her and the first non-boyfriend.
Her: It’s so strange. One month before I came here I met a boy. I think I’m in love with him. So this is very unusual to me.
Me: I get what I want
Friday, December 6, 2013
A beautiful woman with a beautiful family, with a resume to hire for -- with a French maid outfit? We agree to meet and greet during a potential strip tease...uh, modeling session...
BUT......... The biggest disaster in the history of blind dates -- accidentally sending your X-rated diary to the potential girl of your dreams, or at least the girl of your next First Date....... I did that...... Never mind that it makes little girl's pussies burst into flames.
She was a good sport...took it with a :-) ... I really enjoyed her text banter...75...and one mysterious phone call...
Whores & Hookers: Hi. I sent you a message that was intended for someone else. Pls dont click the links. Sorry! Hate it wen that happens.
Calender Gurl: Ok
W&H: Thnk u. Sorry bout that. I watched ur videos n cried. I will pray for ur family.
CG: Oh thank u. We need all the prayers we can get. Its tough. I get lonely at times but its ok.
W&H: Lonely is not so good. Im up late tonight if you wanna talk.
CG: Ok hun sounds good. Are u married?
W&H: Divorced 1 year how about u?
CG: Never married, single over a year now. Dont have a lot of time for men, but I do get lonely.
(we discuss our date arrangements)
CG: Oh just saw those links u accidentally sent to me. You perv lol. But if that's u in the pic u r very attractive. Im sure u have plenty of women.
W&H: Oh shit lol. The camera lies Im really much more attractive in person ha. Im very lonely or at least a lil lonely. Most of "my" models I just shoot for a few minutes or hours. Ur the hottie with men chasing you wit $$$.
CG: Who's chasing me with money?
W&H: Me next month anyway. How much u earn from modeling?
(discuss $$$ for pro shoots)
CG: Send me a pic of urself
W&H: I took the selfies this year but now my hair is less gray.
CG: I like the gray
W&H: Thanks just trying to keep up with the teenagers lol
CG: Teenagers? Why?
W&H: Models lol over 18
W&H: My 21 year old friend didn't even notice :-( Maybe thats a good thing?
We discuss Playboy models I hang out with in boudoirs, her potentially posing nude for Playboy, :-)
Now, no contact for several days... Gone dark. One of her hottie BF's back in town?
I apologize to CG -- I just love women...their beauty...their love...their life...and I'm lonely...hard to find someone actually available...without addictions of any kind to anyone...an empty bed (almost) every night...no one to hold and touch and kiss every day...anytime, anyplace...someone to text and sext...someone to dream with, day and night...someone to cry with, as needed...someone to massage, one hour at a time, without an appointment...someone to do dishes and chores with, naked... someone to play in a hot jacuuzi with, with or without suitable attire...someone to tickle, even when it leads to great sex...someone to fuck, anytime, anyplace, sometimes all night long... over and over...someone to give the gift of neverending orgasms...even when it makes them smile and laugh...uncontrollably...and maybe, just maybe...fall in love a lil bit.........I've had it all before, and I know I want it again....
Maybe not now...maybe years from now...
But no, I had to potentially fuck up my potential fuck. What a dick! LOL
Sunday, November 24, 2013
Willie of course is another word for dick.
One of the most beloved and oft-quoted moments in the ridiculously beloved and oft-quoted film Willy Wonka & the Chocolate Factory is the sequence in which the unbalanced candymaker displays his newest invention: lickable wallpaper. As the children and their guardians go to town on the wallpaper, Wonka declares: "Lick an orange. It tastes like an orange. The strawberries taste like strawberries! The snozzberries taste like snozzberries!"
We laugh, because "snozzberries" is obviously a fanciful, fictional word, and nobody knows what they really were. Except that Roald Dahl, the book's author, knew exactly what snozzberries were: They're dicks. Snozzberries are dicks. Willy Wonka made those kids lick dick-flavored wallpaper.
It turns out the guy who thought a story about an insane recluse casually murdering a group of children had a pretty fucked up sense of humor.
In 1979, Dahl decided to revisit snozzberries in his adult novel My Uncle Oswald. The equally witty and disgusting story revolves around Oswald Hendryks Cornelius, the titular uncle and "greatest fornicator of all time." Along with his sexy accomplice Yasmin Howcomely, he devises a complicated get-rich-quick scheme that involves Howcomely seducing Europe's most famous men and then selling used condoms full of their spent semen to women wishing to birth famous progeny. Please take some time to remind yourself that this book was written by one of the world's most beloved children's authors.
The term "snozzberry" comes up when Yasmin Howcomely recounts her experience with George Bernard Shaw:
"How did you manage to roll the old rubbery thing on him?"
"There's only one way when they get violent," Yasmin said. "I grabbed hold of his snozzberry and hung onto it like grim death and gave it a twist or two to make him hold still."
"I'll bet it is."
"You can lead them around anywhere you want like that."
"It's like putting a twitch on a horse."
Charlie and the Chocolate Factory was written in 1964, 15 years before My Uncle Oswald revealed that the wallpaper was made to taste like the head of a penis. In the strictest sense of the term, we're pretty sure this makes Willy Wonka a pedophile. And honestly, we're not that surprised.