Monday, February 20, 2012

Strippers Are Snobs


A conversation with two young strippers:

W&H: So what do your parents think about your job?

Stripper 1: They're not happy about it. They paid for my sister to go to college, but cut me off. So I'm not talking to them.

W&H: I'm sure they still love you.


Stripper 1, watching a former college cheerleader take it all off: Do you have a favorite girl?

W&H: Not really. All strippers are beautiful.

Stripper 1: Hmmm.

W&H: I miss the old rules with topless only, with hands-on contact. Now I feel like a gynocologist, except I don't get paid.

Stripper 1: Ha.

W&H: So tell me the truth, do you ever get horny while dancing?

Stripper 1: Sure, of course. The girls are really hot, and naked...

W&H: I mean, with guys?

Stripper 2: No, that's just gross.


WAH: Do you think stripping make girls bi or lesbian?

Stripper 1: Heck yeah!

Stripper 2: Working here has that effect.

W&H: Do you see many hookers working as strippers?

Stripper 1: No! Ewe.

Stripper 2: I've seen a few girls degrade themselves like that at other clubs, but not here.

W&H: What do you think of hookers?

Stripper 2: Those girls are stupid!

Stripper 1: Having sex with men, when you don't love them? That's disgusting!

W&H: What do you think of customers in strip clubs?

Stripper 1: The ones who think they can find a girlfriend here are nuts.

Stripper 2: The smart ones just use us for live porn then go home for sex.

W&H: That's my plan. That's the only sane way to enjoy a strip club.

Stripper 1: Yeah, that's probably a good idea.

W&H: I do enjoy stripping for ladies I don't know. Even when I have to pay them.

Stripper 1: Oh!



Stripper 2 goes on stage as I get a tableside dance from Stripper 1.

Naked Stripper 2: Why are you leaving?

W&H: I'm out of money, and I still have to pay for sex.

Naked Stripper 2, spreading her legs wide over her head and bouncing her 8-inch heels off the floor: But you have $4 dollars left!

I tip her three dollars. Thank you for your time.


I wonder why I was the only customer in there?

And then there were none...

The sensual shower and sensual massage were much more, uh, stimulating...

Note to self: Remember to put dollar bill back in wallet.

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